Quotes From Television in the Eighties
This is just meant to be a fun page in which people remember their favorite
lines from eighties TV shows. Try not to start quoting entire scenes, just
the most memorable lines.
I will begin accepting entries for this page once again in the not-too distant future. For now, just enjoy what's here.
"I - I slipped!"
Michael J. Fox to Tracy Pollan after their first kiss, on "Family Ties".
TV repairman: "This is a nice hospital. Were you born here?"
Skippy: "No, I was adopted. I wasn't present at my own birth."
Laura: "Why are they shooting at us?"
Remington: "Because we're kissing. Somebody always shoots at us when we're kissing."
"I cannot be bought, and I cannot be threatened. But if you put them both together then I'm your man!"
Norm from Cheers replying to his boss' unsavory request to have someone fire
"Sorry Sir Penguin, I forgot!"
said repeatedly by Elyse Keaton during a commercial she was shooting in the kitchen for Penguin Frozen Foods
Governor: "I once had a fraternity brother who almost become a preacher."
Priest1: "Oh, really?"
Priest2: "What stopped him?"
From the "Benson" episode where priests are visiting the governor's mansion:
John Davidson: "One third of all ice cream sold in the United States is?"
Louie Anderson: "In my freezer."
John Davidson: "We have a camel and we have straw, apples, and ground beef.
Which will the camel not eat?"
Louie Anderson: "I'll say the meat. And if he doesn't eat it, can I have it?"
Richard Simmons: "No, you can't!"
John Davidson: "How did "quarter-horses" get their name?"
Jm J Bullock: "Costs a quarter to ride 'em."
John Davidson: "Is it okay for cats to eat grass?"
ALF: "Yes. It gives them a nice minty flavor."
John Davidson: "What do you get if you cross a cow and a buffalo?"
ALF: "Utter chaos! What do you get if you cross a donkey and a game show host?"
John Davidson: "What?"
ALF: "A smarter game show host."
It's Your Move
"It's more than I usually get. It's closer to what I deserve."
Sgt. Getraer from "CHiPs" after a computer malfunction gives him an obnoxiously high paycheck.
Michael Knight: "It's called parasailing."
KITT:"Wrong, it's called total insanity."
Sam: "Woody, could you add up these receipts?"
(Woody feels through the receits)
Woody: "There's eight of them, Sam."
Sam: "You're trying to plant a seed in my brain."
Diane: "Don't be silly. I know of nothing that grows in solid rock."
Norm: "It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."
"On the way over, I decided to listen to a rock station on the radio to get
into the mood. There was a line in one of those tribal passages that I felt
summed up the evening: 'Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung
Frasier showing up for his bachelor party.
"You make me feel that the whole world is mine. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y. Why?"
Woody singing a song he wrote for his girlfriend
Alex: "'You are a friendly and helpful person, Alex.' It's got my name on it, so it must be mine."
Jennifer: "Then this must also be yours. 'Pay up or no more personalized fortunes, Alex.'"
While the family eats fortune cookies, Alex and Jennifer read their fortunes.
Rose: "You must be tired after your cab trip."
Sophia: "Tired? I rode in the cab! I didn't push it!"
Savage: "Rico, what's the first thing you do when get into a car?"
Rico: "Hot-wire it!"
Not Necessarily the News
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Bruce Springsteen could not be here tonight, so in his place we have...THE POPE!"
Guitarist: "Oh no! The blinkin' pilot jumped out of the bloody plane!"
Bassist: "We're gonna crash!? We're gonna die!?"
Drummer: "I can't die! I haven't even been to Europe yet!"
Guitarist: "You're FROM Europe, you idiot!"
Last conversation between a rock group just before their plane crashed. (This is what is heard when they find the black box.)
WKRP in Cincinnati
"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."
Spoken by Mr. Carlson as turkeys are dumped from a plane as a promotional stunt.