Top Ten Cheeziest Videos of the 80s
Below are the lists of submissions to the site....
This page currently edited by: Sylence. Past editor: Junior
By: Steve Johnson
- 10. Too Much Time on My Hands by Styx
They probably could hav spent a liite more time on the video. They look like fools with the 10 o'clock news blues.
- 9. Private Eyes by Hall & Oates
The band in trenchcoats trying desperately to clap on the beat as bright white lights flash.
- 8. True Faith by New Order
This video features people dressed in brightly colored geometric shape. I laugh now as I think of the bouncing triangle.
- 7. Fascination by Human League
The band takes up residence in an all red house. As it turns out they are in the "You are here" dot on a black an white map. Best scene is where a boy chases a ball out of the red spot and he and the ball turn white.
- 6. Don't Lose My Number by Phil Collins
Dialogue between Phil and the intended Director: Director - "Who's that on the guitar?", Phil - "Darryl Sturmer", Director - "Great! Great sandwich. Anyway, then you storm the castle and ..." (fake arrow goes into director's chest) "...Fake blood, great isn't it?", Phil - "It's not quite what I had in mind.", Director "Okay, You're at the beach!" Many other great scenes. Intentionally cheesy.
- 5. Don't Pay the Ferryman by Chris Deburgh
The guy who sings "Lady in Red" trying to look scary.
- 4. Separate Ways by Journey
Guys, you don't have to pop the veins out of your neck to make us believe your not lip synching.
- 3. Billie Jean by Michael Jackson
For years I wished the sidewalk lit up as I walked to school.
- 2. California Girls by David Lee Roth
David Lee Roth is the ultimate ham (and cheese) as he weves his way through a line of beautiful motionless women (who keep moving, especially when Roth bumps into them). Best part is that goofy tourists are lined up to see them.
- 1. Old Man Down the Road by John Fogerty
How long is that extension cord? Camera follows it from the house to the middle of the swamp.
Honorable mentions: Life in One Day - Howard Jones; Shakin' - Eddie Money; Wake Me Up Before You GoGo - Wham!; Oh Sheila! - Ready for the World; Walk Like an Egyptian - Bangles.
- 10. Smuggler's Blues by Glen Frey
Best Concept Video '85 beat/out Tom Petty:Don't come around here no more
- 9. Rough Boy by ZZTop
Best Art Direction '86
- 8. Veronica by Elvis Costello
Best Male Performance '89 B/O Steve Winwood:Roll with it
- 7. Sad Songs (say so much) by Elton John
Best Choreography '85 B/O Madonna:Like a virgin & Material girl
- 6. It's Only Love by Bryan Adams & Tina Turner
Best Onstage Performance '86 B/O Robert Palmer:Addicted to love
- 5. Kiss by Art of Noise featuring Tom Jones
Best Breakthrough Video '89 B/O Fine Young Cannibals:She drives me crazy
- 4. C'est La Vie by Robbie Neville
Best Cinamatography '87 B/O U2:With or without you
- 3. Hourglass by Squeeze
Best Special Effects/Best Art Direction '88 B/O Greatful Dead:Touch of Grey/ George Michael:Faith
- 2. The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-Ha
Best Editing/Best Cinamatography '86 "Female model with shaved head on a very strange set" Not so kind in retrospect
- 1. Close (to the edit) by Art of Noise
Best Editing/Most Experimental '85 "5 year old wanna-be crack whorre/suits with facemasks and chainsaws"
These are definitely the Top 10 cheesiest videos that won an MTV Video Music Award during the 1980's
- 10. Such A Shame by Talk Talk
I´m Missing You Guys!
- 9. Rebel Yell by Billy Idol / Steve Stevens
IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR SHE CRIES MORE MORE MORE !!!! MORE ! By the Way - Why did he covered Don´t You (Forget About Me) by the Simple Minds in 2001?? Is there Nothing else he could sing? Maybe a Duet wih JR Ewing?
- 8. You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon
Chevy Chase in the Video! Excellent (don´t mind the pink dress :-) )
- 7. Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics
Annie & Dave as Futuristic Cowboys with Computers & Cows..
- 6. Styx by Mr. Roboto
I`M KILLROY KILLROY!
- 5. Owner Of A Lonely Heart by YES
The Video is Cool & The Song 2!
- 4. Footloose by Kenny Loggins
I Loved The Movie - I Love The Video - I Loved The Song! Now got cut loose, Footloose´, kick off your sunday shoes please louise...
- 3. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
Yeah- Yeah -Yeah SHE BOPS!!! (Excellent & Funny - Real 80ies Stuff)
- 2. Don´t Go by Yazoo
A Vince Clarke / Alison Moyet Song witch still moves your feet... and watch the Video - ITS KILLING (Like Most From The 80ies)
- 1. Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood
There are two Video´s - and both are not my Favourites - BUT - I Loved the song... and the Album..
- 10. Lies by Thompson Twins
Director: "I just bought this new video editor, it's totally rad!!!!" I can take a picture of your head, blow it up real huge, and make it float across the screen screaming! I'm so stoked to be doing your video, man."
- 9. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!
Yellow gloves + hot pants = CRAP!
- 8. Kiss Me Deadly by Lita Ford
Any song with such a prominent "uh-huh" is hopeless. Lita tries to prove her rock-n-roll credibility by doing some Vanilla Ice-style floor-humping and licking a giant block of ice. The strong female figure that influenced Vixen. Thanks Lita!
- 7. Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell
It's astonishing that this unbelievable lack of talent is the offspring of Berry Gordy. Your son wants a recording career, but he is completely devoid of ability. What DO you do? Hire a (then) star to contribute some dull backing vocals, and give the boy $15 and a smoke machine for the video shoot. Problem solved!
- 6. The Saftey Dance by Men Without Talent, I mean, Men Without HATS
A couple years ago, MuchMusic aired a countdown of the best videos of all time. I watched intermittenly, and I happened to catch a 90s gem, "1979" by The Smashing Pumpkins. I gladly watched a stunning video by my favorite band and said to myself "well, the next ones should be REALLY good ones". Imagine my horror as said video rolls. In what way are maypoles and amazingly poor dancing better than "1979"?!?!
- 5. Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
C'mon, I had to have at least one Monster Ballad, and who could resist this bimbo rags-to-riches story. Dave Coverdale meets Bimbo. Bimbo humps Dave. Bimbo humps car hood. Bimbo leaves Dave Coverdale for Dave Coulier and a sweet job on "America's Funniest People". Bimbo loses sweet job, marries Chuck Finley.
- 4. Puttin on the Ritz by Taco
Rock Star Commandment #79: Thou shalt not share a name with the #7 combo at Chi-Chis...
- 3. Separate Ways by Journey
Steve Perry and the boys can't figure out why the babe in the six-inch white pumps is ignoring them.
- 2. Wazupwitchu? by Eddie Murphy f/ Michael Jackson
Another Jackson classic! And you thought "Party all the Time" sucked! Eddie can't get Rick James to be in his video this time, so he digs up the next best thing, a hot white chick! The happy couple floats in an animated sky full of hearts and stars. Pass me my insulin...
- 1. Moonwalker by Michael Jackson
OK, so this isn't technically a video, but it is the most incoherent music-related film of all time. Michael plays soccer with blonde youngsters in the woods, dances in a 20s club, morphs into a car, AND saves children from Joe Pesci and his evil drugs before morphing into a spaceship and flying away. Also starring Sean Lennon!
- 10. AntMusic by Adam and the Ants
This was a very early video...you cant even understand what he is saying...and the clothes...ewwwww.
- 9. You Spin Me Round Like A Record by Dead or Alive
The dude looks crazy and they act like flaggirls at the end.
- 8. Here Comes The Rain Again by Eurythmics
I really didnt understand this...I thought Annie Lenox looked like a grandma in this video.
- 7. Owner Of A Lonley Heart by Yes
This video just sucked...I mean what was with the snake in the shower?
- 6. Head Over Heels by GoGos
Love the song...the video is just Belinda Carlisle dancing around on the floor.
- 5. Save A Prayer by Duran Duran
This was one of the worst videos of the 80s I think...where are all the bright colors and what's with the pyrimids?
- 4. Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode
The first time I saw this video I thought it sucked because it had no point...he looks like a juvinile delinquint.
- 3. Foolish Beat by Debbie Gibson
What was the deal with her in the restauraunt and all those coffee cups?
- 2. New Sensation by INXS
Ok, so this video really sucked.
- 1. Crazy For You by Madonna
I love Madonna and this song but the video really sucked.
By: Ellen Edgerton
- 10. We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister
Starring Niedermeyer from ANIMAL HOUSE.
- 9. She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby
Another video that made the song.
- 8. I Want to Break Free by Queen
Freddie Mercury in a dress, vacuuming. What more could you want?
- 7. Rio by Duran Duran
Come on, who didn't think Simon le Bon was the coolest guy on the earth, sitting out on the bow of that sailboat? Didn't you just want to BE in this video with them?
- 6. Don't Come Around Here No More by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Alice in Wonderland video. And how about that awful ending?
- 5. You Might Think by The Cars
A lot of video tricks in this one.
- 4. Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac
I recall that this was considered the most elaborate video made up to that point (1982) and MTV made a big fat deal out of it. Period costumes, storyline and everything. Fleetwood Mac actually had a number of memorable videos - "Hold Me" (remember the matte-painting in the desert that got smashed?) and the one where the camera went through windows and doors endlessly (can't remember the title of that one)
- 3. Take On Me by A-Ha
This video seemed revolutionary at the time. One of the videos you always dropped everything to watch.
- 2. White Wedding by Billy Idol
This is the only song where I always see the video in my mind while listening to it even, what, 20 years later? Specifically, those drum beats (which were a hammer nailing down a coffin lid in the video).
- 1. I Ran by A Flock of Seagulls
Everyone cites "Video Killed the Radio Star" as the first great video. No, it was this one. This is the first one that made people watching go "What the f--- is this?" Would anyone even remember "I Ran" if it weren't for the video?
By: Sudha Senn
- 10. Every Breath You take by Police
- 9. Billy Jean by Michael Jackson
- 8. Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper
The song brings special memories.
- 7. Take On Me by A-ha
Love the video, love the song....I can watch it over and over again.
- 6. Still Say Yes by Klymaxx
Love the lyrics.
- 5. Love Changes Everything by Climie Fisher
- 4. With or Without You by U2
There is just something about this band that makes you wanna listen to them all the time.
- 3. Hold Me know by The Thompson Twins
- 2. Papa Don't Preach by Madonna
I love Madonna and I love all hers songs.
- 1. Careless whisper/Everything she wants by Wham
George was the guy every girl dreamed of, the videos were great so were the band members!!!
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