Top Ten Cheeziest Videos of the 80s
Below are the lists of submissions to the site....
This page currently edited by: Sylence. Past editor: Junior
By: Jeffrey Punter
- 10. Smooth Operator by Sade
- 9. Rockit by Herbbie Hancock
Why did this win a MTV video music award? The video is hard to comprehend.
- 8. Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell
Come on Rockwell. Nobody is watching you and why would they? It is always the one hit wonders that have crappy videos.
- 7. Mr. Telephone Man by New Edition
Why could't they just go to her house instead of bothering the telephone man?
- 6. Dancing In the Sheets by Shalamar
The Zorro scene had nothing to do with the song. The video would have been great if they left that one out.
- 5. Cherish by Kool & The Gang
I liked this video until I found out it was shot at Jones Beach, NY. This band is too good to shoot a video at that "welfare" beach.
- 4. Dancing On the Ceiling by Lionel Richie
Why are most of his videos have to be garbage? He is very talanted. This video has him and the crew dancing in one place and the camera is turned so it looks like he is really standing on the ceiling.
- 3. Forgive Me Girl by The Force MD's
These B Boy doo-woopers think they are cool because their video was shot on a Staten Island ferry. It was a good song, but the video can be better.
- 2. I Wonder If I Take You Home by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam with Full Force
The background is not even a real house. Is it?
- 1. Torture by The Jacksons
This video use to frighten me when I was a child. Right now I can see why. What is up with the flinging goo eye balls and the poor "Thriller" wannabe concepts? No wonder why the family superstars, Michael and Jermaine sat out for this one. Painful memories of 84.
By: Hayley Keenan
- 10. Laid so Low (Tears Roll Down) by Tears for Fears
TECHNICALLY,.. IT WASN'T TEARS FOR FEARS ANYMORE, IT WAS JUST ROLAND ORZABAL CAUSE CURT LEFT THE BAND. BUT IT WAS STILL TEARS FOR FEARS. AND THE VIDEO CLIP WAS QUIRKY BUT HEAPS COOL.
- 9. Woman in Chains by Tears for Fears
I DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND THIS CLIP BUT ROLIE AND CURT LOOK MIGHTY FINE THOUGH
- 8. Sowing the Seeds of Love by Tears for Fears
ANOTHER GREAT SONG AND CLIP
- 7. Mothers Talk by Tears for Fears
ANOTHER CLASSIC CLIP, NEED I SAY MORE...... ROLAND LOOKS HOT WEARING GLASSES AND READING NEWSPAPER!!!!
- 6. Change by Tears for Fears
THIS SONG GETS STUCK IN MY HEAD EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO IT. THE VIDEO CLIP IS GREAT, ROLAND MUST HAVE BEEN STALKED BY OBSESSED TFF FANS IN DISGUISE.
- 5. Mad World by Tears for Fears
LOVE ROLAND'S DANCE, I TRIED TO DANCE LIKE THAT BUT I'LL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS HIM.
- 4. Everybody wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears
THE BEST DRIVING SONG!! WHY DIDN'T ROLAND DRIVE AROUND! I LIKE CURT TOO BUT I THINK THAT ROLAND SHOULD'VE DRIVED AS WELL
- 3. Shout by Tears for Fears
THE MOST KNOWN SONG AND THE VIDEO CLIP ROCKS. I WISH I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND ROLAND AT THE NEAR END OF THE CLIP!
- 2. Head over Heels by Tears for Fears
ANOTHER FAVOURITE OF MINE. I THINK ROLAND SHOULD DO A FEW MOVIES PLUS SOME TV SHOWS, HE'S BRILLIENT IN THIS CLIP!! WISH I WAS THE LIBRARIAN!!
- 1. I Believe by Tears for Fears
THE BEST SONG, AND SEEING ROLAND WITH NO SHIRT ON MAKES ANY GIRL WANNA SCREAM!
I'AM A TEARS FOR FEARS NUT OR HUGE FAN WHATEVER YOU MIGHT CALL IT. YOU MIGHT HAVE REALISED THAT I WAS RAVING ON ABOUT ROLAND MORE THAN CURT. I DO LIKE CURT BUT ROLAND IS MORE CUTER AND SEXIER AND..... ETC. THEIR MUSIC ROCKS. TUNE IN NEXT TIME 4 ANOTHER TOP 10 FAVE OF MY 2ND FAVE BAND THE CURE
By: Music Video Nuts
- 10. Elmo & Patsy by Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer
A novelty song with a cheesy, but fun video. (1983)
- 9. Vanessa Williams by Save The Best For Last
Not really a Christmas song, but the video has a holiday vibe to it. (1992)
- 8. Wham! by Last Christmas
- 7. Darl Hall & John Oates by Jingle Bell Rock
- 6. Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight) by Ramones
- 5. Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth by David Bowie & Bing Crosby
Actually from Bing Crosby's final holiday special in 1977, but wasn't released as single until 1982. Classic clip though. (1977, though the clip ran on MTV & VH1 until they stopped airing videos)
- 4. Sting by Gabriel's Message
- 3. Christmas In Hollis by Run DMC
- 2. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by U2
- 1. Do They Know It's Christmas by Band Aid
A great video for a good cause. Put together by Bob Geldolph (Boomtown Rats) and sung by popular artists of the time like Sting, Boy George, Bananarama, George Michael, Phil Collins, etc. (1984)
Top 10 Holiday music videos from the '80's. (And a clip from a '70's holiday special & a video from 1992)
By: BYRON BENGUCHE
- 10. EVERY LITTLE STEP I TAKE. by BOBBY BROWN
- 9. WE GOT OUR OWN THING by HEAVY DEE AND THE BOYS
- 8. BIG TIME by PETER GABRIEL
- 7. BILLIE JEAN by MICHAEL JACKSON
THE YEAR WAS 1982 I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD WHEN I SAW THIS VIDEO.I STUDIED THIS VIDEO JUST TO LEARN HIS DANCE STEPS.
- 6. ONCE IN A LIFETIME by TALKING HEADS
DAVID BYRNE DANCING EXPLAINS IT ALL.
- 5. THRILLER by MICHAEL JACKSON
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY NUMBER ONE.BUT EVERYBODY GOT THIS VIDEO ON THERE LIST.THIS IS THE GREATEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME EVER.
- 4. IN THE AIR TONIGHT by PHIL COLLINS
THIS VIDEO WAS DARK AND ERIE.
- 3. GIRLS ON FILM by DURAN DURAN
THIS VIDEO WAS BANNED ON MTV IN 1982 BECAUSE OF THE SEXUAL SUGGESTIVNESS.IF THIS VIDEO CAME OUT NOW IT WOULD GET HEAVY RORTATION ON MTV NOW.
- 2. WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE by GUNS N ROSES
AT FIRST I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THIS VIDEO WHEN I FIRST SAW IT.BUT THEN AS I KEPT SEEING THE VIDEO THIS WAS A GOOD VIDEO.
- 1. WALK THIS WAY by RUN DUMC AND AEROSMITH
THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS VIDEO IT WAS ON FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEO.THIS VIDEO WAS HISTORIC BECAUSE IT COMBINED ROCK AND RAP TOGETHER.
By: Steve Kravcik
- 10. Life in a Northern Town by Dream Academy
I'm not into the message-less imagery thing, but if you are, no one does it better. Guess what....scenes of northern towns. At least it keeps the pretence to an understandable level. These band members have some of the nicest (and I suspect cleanest) hair seen between 1980 and 1985. You know, the video goes very well with a glass of Talisker.
- 9. She Blinded Me with Science by Thomas Dolby
Before I ever saw the video, I imagined the thoughts behind the sing to be...like the video. Thomas Dolby (who looks for all the world like my colleague, Dr. Bishop here in Ottawa) is wheeled into a rest home for mad scientists in the English countryside, to find himself enamoured by a mysterious Oriental librarian who somehow resembles a cello. All the while, he is psychoanalysed by one of my McGill profs and is surrounded by other scientists with rocket-charged backpacks, bizarre telescopes and some smoking shoe thing that would get Thomas Ridge all concerned. This is a scream.
- 8. She Controls Me by Strange Advance
This is pretty much the peak of New Wave earnestness and pre-Madonna vogueing. I always liked the group and am probably the only person with their greatest hits on both cassette and CD (yeah, I?m a loser, I know). The four members are dressed in finely tailored grey one piece jumpsuits adorned with a variety of straight lines (is that electrical tape?). There is scene after scene of serious and pained looks, full face, at 45 degrees, in profile. The three together, their earnest faces in different directions. Well, they tried real hard on this one. I would suggest, though, that extreme closeups of an eye should be preceded by Visine (man, is that bloodshot).
- 7. Love Plus One by Haircut 100
This is a pleasantly silly song with the video showing a bunch of pleasantly silly guys having a damn good time playing the song. They seem to be having a lot of fun. The girls being boiled by cannibals don?t seem too upset. Ca marche bien.
- 6. Destination Unknown by Missing Persons
Man, wasn?t Dale Bozzio unique? A three foot shock of white and pink hair on a five foot woman who wears chips of broken mirror as makeup and wears a transparent plastic bra. I?m not sure what the message of the video is, except that, indeed, life is strange. As is the video, appropriately enough. Speaking of strange, the three men (and I use that term loosely) are a scream....long formal jackets and just lovely mascara and blush with big (and I mean really large) hair. If I went to work like that, they would take me away.
- 5. Centrefold by J. Geils Band
The ultimate video when I was a young, testosterone-fuelled guy in 1982. Now....still a great video when I?m an older and somewhat testosterone-challenged 41 year old. A dorky lead singer reminisces about that one teen classmate and the video accommodates by parading out the epitome of early eighties female imagery. They wear teddies, long sweaters, cheerleader outfits...and with class! This is funny, kind of sweet, and pretty damn innocent. It is better than I remembered.
- 4. Legs by ZZ Top
Although the girl in the purple-pink top in ?Sharp Dressed Man? is pretty much the ultimate ZZ Top character, this video takes the award for depth, nuance, lest I say cache? As if. I think the furry guitars and the unabashed carnal nature push this to my top ten.
- 3. Our House by Madness
About ten guys from the band parodying family roles to the beat of this piano-charged new wave classic. I always laugh. A great video for a great song.
- 2. Atomic by Blondie
The ultimate in Cold War chic. Debbie Harry dressed in yellow and black, goosestepping in place and doing a spastic spot dance with some guy in a jumpsuit and a motorcycle helmet, surrounded by mutants and folks wearing wires and big springs. Her voice is terrific and ohhhh does she look nice.
- 1. I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow
How can you not love a video in which an extremely cute fifteen year old Burmese girl sporting a mohawk prances around a beach singing a song rife with double-entendres? Works for me.
These are the good ones. The stinkers to come shortly.
By: Steve Kravcik
- 10. I Ran by A Flock of Seagulls
Ditto. A truly cool song with a ten dollar video that looks like a grade seven theatre production.
- 9. Men Without Hats by Safety Dance
As above. An archetypal New Wave song but can't the video show anything but people dancing? Funny how making a big "S" with our arms never really caught on. A little imagination, here, people.
- 8. The Tide is High by Blondie
A nice enough song, but there is this...thing....in there, a short guy dressed like Darth Vader but his face is covered with something that looks like an alternator from a Chevy Impala. Bizarre. I hate it when good songs have retarded videos.
- 7. Tell Me by Fastway
The ugliest band on earth. No, really. You gotta be one desperate groupie to even consider....Awe forget it. Anyway, the emaciated lead singer berates a bunch of bank tellers for no particular reason while his bandmates menacingly point their guitars like rifles. Teen angst gets dangerous. Lock up your daughters. Or at least the Clearasil.
- 6. In a Big Country by Big Country
Lots of pained and earnest looks of angst while driving around the English countryside on ATVs. I?ll have to listen to that song again.
- 5. Spirit in the Sky by Doctor and the Medics
First, they ruined Norman Greenbaum?s really good song. Then there is the stupid makeup on the lead singer, and his climbing a building. I really thought he was doing it! As if. Introduce that boy to Toni Basil. They could start a line of powdery makeup for those moist areas.
- 4. Wake me up before you go-go by Wham
I don't miss day-glo.
- 3. Walk of Life by Dire Straits
There isn?t a Dire Straits song I don?t like. But this video....yecch. Shots of athletes dropping footballs and baseballs.....I don?t get it. And then there is guy in the concert scene....some guitarist, not Mark Knopfler, thankfully, dancing like a tit with a gross white suit, no shoes, and a six foot pink bandana draped around his forehead. Now that?s embarrassing. Does he awake late at night screaming?
- 2. Der Kommisar by Falco
This is a terrific song. Iron Curtain new wave rap. No one raps English and German better. But running on one spot with police flashers behind you for three minutes? Aww, Falco, you screwed up on this one.
- 1. Mickey by Toni Basil
Oh.....my.....god. The video ruined the song for me. Toni Basil looks like a tree toad with pancake makeup. At my worst I could conjure up a dozen better ways to present this. I almost want to google her to see what she really looks like....but I?m afraid.
A lot of new videos have the singers swaying to the rap, grabbing themselves, surrounded by sleazy types. No interest in these. I much prefer the old stuff from when videos were young. Alas, there were some stinkers back then.
By: Adrian Di'Anno
- 10. Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne
With the pictures of the late guitarist Randy Rhoads, you couldn't ask for more from Ozzy...
- 9. The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden
Controversial song, great video!
- 8. Me and My Wine by Def Leppard
Hilarious right 'till the end!
- 7. Cum on Feel the Noize by Quiet Riot
Some call it stupid, I think it's funny and done wonderfully!
- 6. Can I Play with Madness by Iron Maiden
Just a great video. Makes me laugh sometimes...
- 5. We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister
- 4. Women in Uniform by Iron Maiden
The first video by Maiden, also a huge rocker one!
- 3. Round and Round by Ratt
Great song, great video. Very impressive and unique.
- 2. Breaking the Law by Judas Priest
Hilariuous! Nothing much else to say...
- 1. Wasted Years by Iron Maiden
A great video that shows all of Maiden's highs and lows up 'till 1986. Also has cameo parts from Steve Harris' daughter, Lauren.
I would've really liked to add Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Comin'". I would've loved to add Maiden's "Holy Smoke", but that was 90s.
- 10. Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
"Like a drifter I was born to walk alone..." Oh, the emotion.
- 9. Girls Girls Girls by Motley Crue
Aren't we cool because we like strip clubs?
- 8. Round and Round by Ratt
Gauzy silk, vacant-eyed blonde, weasely, creepy singer, all on a white sound stage. Yep...just, yep.
- 7. Cum On Feel the Noise by Quiet Riot
Stripey guitars, big hair, ugly singer, fake rock arena. Had it all...
- 6. Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell
- 5. Legs by ZZ Top
Gave every hair band their focus for videos for years to come.
- 4. Breaking the Law by Judas Priest
I almost think they did this on purpose. VERY cheesy bank-robbery video, band-as-bank-robbers, breaking down vault doors with loud guitars. Eeesh.
- 3. Missing You by John Waite
Another focus on meaningless visuals and empty style.
- 2. Boys of Summer by Don Henley
Total emphasis on stylish visuals with no meaning. Guys jumping up and down behind a fence? What the hell does that have to do with anything?
- 1. Safety Dance by Men Without Hats
Come on...midgets, a ren faire, and men WITH hats. CHEESE.
I can't believe some of the videos you guys are mentioning as cheesy. Some of them were ground-breaking and very innovative. A-Ha's Take On Me is a good example. Oh, and for the guy on the top of the list..."Everybody Wants to Rule The World" is Tears For Fears, definately not REO Speedwagon.
- 10. Mothers Talk (version 3) by Tears For Fears
Really cool! The US mix of this song is used, but who cares? It's all good! The video somewhat ends with a cliffhanger and a question of "is that really an appropriate bomb shelter?"
- 9. Der Kommissar by Falco
I really liked both the song and the video!
- 8. Sadness by Enigma
Okay, Okay, it's a 1990 music video, but I love both! Whenever I listen to this song, I always get a playback of the video in my head!
- 7. Step by Step by New Kids On The Block
Dreadful! The song is the most dreadful though...
- 6. Why Can't I Be You? by The Cure
Another good one! It's mostly them dancing, but it shows what a simple budget can do!
- 5. Just Like Heaven by The Cure
Another great one from The Cure! It got to no.46 on the top 80 of the 80's list from vh1! I liked the part when Robert dances with his now-wife Mary on the cliff! They married a year after the video and are still married today!
- 4. Maria Magdalena by Sandra (aka Sandra Cretu)
This comes from the "Great song, Bad video" file. It just consists of Sandra moving in front of a microphone and lipsynching while her band plays in the back! Great Song, though!
- 3. Rock Me Amadeus by Falco
I downloaded this one too because I liked the song! I like Falco, but I cannot imagine him in a messy, muti-coloured wig! But the best part were the biker guys, they sure put a different side to the video!
- 2. Major Tom (Coming Home) by Peter Schilling
I have also downloaded this one 3 times from different music stations and I love them all! I first watched it on pop-up video on MuchMoreMusic and then I downloaded it waaaay after that when I got a new computer! Even though the director seems to have put hot women in the video, I always thought that Peter was the main hottie in the video!!
- 1. The Different Story by Peter Schilling
I finally found this one and downloaded it after a long search! I watched it and I love this video as much as I love the song! There is one shot of him lipsynching someone's high pitched singing and I cracked up laughing! But I love the whole video!
- 10. Fight For Your Right by Beastie Boys (1988)
The Beastie Boys always had great sense of humor and great videos. This was probably one of their best along with 1994's "Sabotage." "We could invite all our friends over for soda and pie." "Yeah!" "I hope no bad people show up." lol.
- 9. Legs (1983) by ZZ Top
ZZ Top showed the way for what a rock video really needs to be great. Screw high concept, just get in as many cars and babes as you can. Aweosme.
- 8. She Was Hot(1983) by Rolling Stones
Directed by Julien Temple who'd also worked with the Sex Pistols. Cool story and got the Stones in some trouble (along with the Undercover video) but its innocent fun now. For a real bad cheesy Stones video watch "Too Much Blood" from the same year.
- 7. TV Party (1981) by Black Flag
Looks like it was shot on a 25 cent budget. Not much of concept. Black Flag act out the lyrics to the song. They sit around a TV and get drunk, the TV breaks so they throw it around some and trash the place.
- 6. Money For Nothing (1985) by Dire Straits
Early use of computer animation and nice attack on how MTV more or less destroyed music by turning everything into image and packaging. The overall message is: Who needs talent when you look good and music is just like product on the shelf at a department store. That's the MTV way.
- 5. Take Me On (1985) by A-Ha
Never much liked the song but the comic book artwork is well done, the girl is very attractive and Ken Russell supervised the closing segement where the guy keeps throwing himself into walls to stop from turning into a comic book charcter. This borrows from Ken's movie Altered States.
- 4. Sledgehammer (1986) by Peter Gabriel
Brilliant blend of different animation styles. Peter Gabriel got a lot of praise for this video and its style became his music video hallmark. "Big Time" from the same year is also classic. "Digging in the Dirt" is well done too. By "Steam" the formula got a little old. Best part: the dancing chickens. Another great video is the nightmarish "I Don't Remember" from 1983 when Peter's on the couch with a hot model when suddenly he gets sucked into the couch.
- 3. You Are What You Is (1981) by Frank Zappa
Pretty much a random assortment of images. African tribal dancers, freaks parading around, a nurse randomly gassing people, a car salesman putting turtle wax in his hair and oh yes, Ronald Regan in an electric chair.
- 2. Owner of a Lonely Heart (1983) by Yes
One of the only times album cover artist Storm Thorgson (Pink Floyd, Audioslave ect.) went into video directing. He should have done more. This video has two parts, in the first half it's just a standard performance video. Suddenly lead singer Jon Anderson says "Maybe there's another where to do this." Things get pretty crazy after that. All the Yes guys morph into animals. Owner starts up again and we watch a deranged psyhcopath being chased by two government agents. Every now and then we see some of the pyscho's halluciations. Creepy stuff. The pyscho loses the agents but then he has to fight a janitor (?), psycho guy fends him off and escapes to the roof. Yes are wating for him and close in on him. With brilliant trick photogrophy Strom made it look like Psycho guy jumps off the roof and turns into a bird. I have no clue what any of this has to do with Owner of a Lonely Heart but its a very cool video.
- 1. Ashes to Ashes (1980) by David Bowie
Probably one of the best, most groundbreaking videos of the early 80s. It looks badly dated now but its miles ahead of most videos made in 1980. Love the imaginative sets and odd costumes. Great song too.
This here would be my list of videos that are cheesey but great or were groundbreaking or I like them anyway.
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