Top Ten Cheeziest Videos of the 80s
Below are the lists of submissions to the site....
This page currently edited by: Sylence. Past editor: Junior
- 10. Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
I didn't know you could get arrested for that.
- 9. The Super Bowl Shuffle by The Chicago Bears
We're so bad we know we're good"? No, it's just bad. The only reason I didn't make it #1 is because they're not actually musicians. All the more reason NOT to make a video.
- 8. Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners
Dirty scuzzballs skipping around the street, singing and refusing to bathe. Nice.
- 7. Bringing on the Heartbreak by Def Leppard
I was gonna say "Foolin'" but that's one of my favorite songs, so I opted for this one instead. Another good song, but the video is pure heavy-metal-weird-imagery schlock formula. Every time I think of Joe Elliot tied to that boat and Rick Savage rowing,wearing what is apparently a gas mask or something, I have to laugh.
- 6. Spirit in the Sky by Doctor and the Medics
I have 2 words for that guy...Ed Grimley.
- 5. Eye in the Sky by Alan Parsons Project
Kinda like Mannequin, only for some reason it was a lot creepier.
- 4. The Warrior by Scandal
I loved this song...but does anyone know what the heck this video is all about?? Dumb dumb dumb.
- 3. Wild Thing by Sam Kinison
Ick ick ick. Jessica Hahn proving that she's not a bimbo, but she's a disgusting whore. And the song started to lose its humor after the first 200 times.
- 2. Human Touch by Rick Springfield
Poor Rick. So good looking and I was such a big fan....but his videos were atrocious. This one was probably the campiest of all, showing Rick as a futuristic Captain Kirk type or something and his computer, "Sally".
- 1. Planet Earth by Duran Duran
Now, I love Duran Duran. But this was total cheese. I bet Jerry Seinfeld stole the idea for the "puffy shirt" from this video.
- 10. Yo,Little Brother by ?
The singer walks around a cardboard town-he towers over the whole set as I recall, and looks for his little brother. Because he's gonna'get it from his father and his mother.
- 9. I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen
Along with Glory Days, proof that Bruce shouldn't stray too far from performance footage. In this one, Bruce is a mechanic who fixes a rich chick's car. The song plays as he drives the car to her place, and he drops the keys off. Makes me wonder why Bruce hasn't received an Mtv video vanguard award yet.
- 8. Summer Of 69 by Bryan Adams
One of his last good songs before he took over the role of soundtrack king from Kenny Loggins. But I'm sure I'm not alone in my uncontrollable laughter when they break into the warehouse and start throwing fruit around.I'm sure it was an accurate depiction of how teens were rebelling in the summer of 69.
- 7. What Are Words For? by Missing Person
That make-up, that hair! The paper clip skirt! My God, why have thou forsaken me????
- 6. The Right Stuff by New Kids On The Block
The gang drives around(like they were old enough to drive!!)and picks up girls and take them to a cemetery(of course!). There, they frolic amidst the graves, and little joey-who must've been,like,3 at the time-drives away in the car. I think they edited the orgy scene to get on Mtv
- 5. Burning Up by Madonna
Typical early Madonna-she crawls on the ground, she pants, she attempts to take her clothes off. She chases a guy, and eventually takes his car. Riveting to say the least.
- 4. Say,Say,Say by Paul Mccartney And Michael Jackson
Another concept video for another bad song. Michael Jackson hits on his sister Latoya at the end-does crap imitate life, or does life imitate crap?
- 3. Karma Chameleon by Culture Club
Bad video for a bad song. They must've felt pretty artsy for coming up w/a "concept"-but I'll take the blame for not understanding what the hell it had to do w/the song
- 2. Maneater by Hall And Oates
Anything by Hall and Oates was bad, but I recall when they played this video every day on video rock. The guys, a panther or something...stimulating
- 1. Love Is A Battlefield by Pat Benetar
The dramatic speaking parts...the dancing in the bar scene-that was art! I think it was especially good casting to have Pat(35 or so?) play the misunderstood teen
By: Mike Sadavoy
- 10. We Run by Strange Advance
Now many might not know the song or video, but let me tell you the song is great, probably one of the best in the 80s, however remember the title is WE RUN, so why are there people waltzing through the video.
- 9. I Ran by Flock of Seagulls
I never really saw the video, I tried but I just keel over, laughing at Mike Score's hairdo.
- 8. Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
As the line says "Don't mess around with a guy in shades Oh No". Yeah, since when did Corey Hart pass for intimidation. So don't mess with Corey Hart, the short Canadian baby-faced artist, who happened to find a cheap set of sunglasses at a Gas station.
- 7. The Warrior by Scandal featuring Patti Smith
Here's a video I laugh at, not with! Oh, wait the video isn't supposed to be funny? Then why did I laugh so hard? Probably because it was unbelievably lame and cheesy.
- 6. Everybody Have Fun Tonight by Wang Chung
That video makes me sick! And worst of all, I see no fun in that video.
- 5. Safety Dance by Men Without Hats
Being from Canada, I love this group, but I hate the video. Lead singer Ivan Ivan and a midget parading around, and chickens too, what drug were they on???
- 4. Spirit in the Sky by Doctor and the Medics
Who is this guy? A KISS reject? And who okayed the making of that video?
- 3. Mickey by Toni Basil
It just goes to show you what a $14 shoestring budget for a video can get you.
- 2. Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant
I'm sure that Adam Ant has two regrets: 1. Making the video 2. Wearing those clothes in the video
- 1. Gloria by Laura Branigan
Here are the problems with the video: 1. She can't dance 2. Its boring, its uncreative, and she needs a serious eyebrow wax 3. Why is she singing with a disco ball hanging over, the song is not disco 4. If she is going to be in a video which just has her singing then at least add a funky background or interesting.
Thanks for reading, if you live in the Toronto Region, I host an 80s radio show called "One Step Beyond" from 2AM to 7AM every Friday Morning on CHRY 105.5FM. If you want more info. contact me Mike Sadavoy at firstname.lastname@example.org
- 10. State of the heart by Rick Springfield
High waters and that fountain...Even more sad than Jessie's Girl.
- 9. Land of confusion by Genesis
This is my all-time favorite video...I love the little puppets and the heads...Phil Collins and Ronald Reagan are my favorites...They actually look exactly like them!!! What's with the guy putting mustard on his own toungue and eating it? I thought that was kinda creepy.
- 8. Thriller by Michael Jackson
Great video, but really stupid
- 7. Spirit in the sky by Doc and the Medics
What is on that guy's face? Until I saw this I thought Dee Snyder was bad...why is that guy climbing on the building?????
- 6. Young Guns by Wham!
Was there any point to this song st all...You tell me, Mr. MX-7...Anyway, the club with all the little annoying people are just a little too...I dunno...But I love the clothes...They are so ugly, they're cool!!!!
- 5. All she wants is by Duran Duran
I am the world's biggest Duran Duran fan, and the little Nick Rhodes and John Taylor mannaquin or whatever things that they show while Simon's singing at a window look really funny...I love when they pop up behind the fridge.
- 4. Loving the alien by David Bowie
Ok, what's with the blue face???Anyway, you know when he floats across the water?Well, if you watch that backwards and in slow-mo, it is really funny..Also, look away when his nose starts bleeding...It's a total gross-out.
- 3. Just a gigolo by David Lee Roth
Anybody who will make fun of Billy Idol has to be pretty cool, right? He parodies Boy George, Hot for teacher, dancing with myself, and a lot of other eighties people...I love the Davercise.
- 2. Melody by Boys Brigade
Listen to it for one second and you'll see what I mean...The words are stupid, the music's lame, and it is one of my favorite songs...Don't ask why...At the beginning of the video, there's a shot of a person dancing where it shows only her feet spinning in slow-mo...I thought I'd die laughing
- 1. I could be happy by Altered Images
A girl in a pink tutu skirt and a black tank top dancing around with five guys wearing assorted clashing patterns and shades of green, yeah...By the way, they are also being chased by a guy in a bear suit while the guys play instruments shaped like parts of the girl's face...Also, there's a part where the guys are shown singing with the girls lips replacing their's...Very very stupid...But, I guess I should have known, since the song goes "I would like to climb high in a tree. I could be happy."
CHEEZY IS NOT BAD!!! I love cheezy movies and every video on my list is one of my favorites...why does everybody hate cheezy??
- 10. Trouble by Nia Peebles
She's singing about the guy she's seeing being nothing but trouble, yet she is the one seeing 4 different guys!
- 9. Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr.
I didn't see any ghosts in this video.
- 8. Girlschool by Britney Fox
It's funny how people mention hair bands but don't mention this band. Their air almost touched the damn ceiling! This video is your typical music video. A bunch of girls in a private school nuff said. Oh cute lil dance by the singer.
- 7. We Can Dance by Men Without Hats
Let me say that this song should have been called "WE CAN'T DANCE"
- 6. Talk Dirty To Me by Poison
Great band but damn did they dress TACKY!!!!
- 5. Out For Blood by Lita Ford
Now this video didn't get much airplay and is pretty rare, but if you ever get a chance to see it you'll get a good laugh. Lita ends up going to a hospital hitting some sick person and then at the end someone uses a sledgehammer on her guitar and blood comes out of it.
- 4. Round and Round by Ratt
This was an interesting video till the girl went up to the attic and her wig and dress came off. She looked like Gozar from Ghostbusters!
- 3. Too Young to Fall In Love by Motley Crue
I love this band and this song, but the video is strange. What i don't get is are they playing super-heros in this video and why don't they save the girl at the end? Why were they saving her in the first place? Did she become a prosititute?...this video gives too many questions then answers! Loved the fake fight scene though!
- 2. Strut by Sheena Easton
All she does is stand there and sing and i swear they filmed this right after "Sugar walls"!
- 1. Girl You know its true by Milli Vanilli
Ok first the are lip syncing and second their next video looks like it was filmed right after this one!
- 10. Pop Musik by M
Terrible Video! A woman lying on a piano tossing records around while some guy lip syncs real bad to repetative lyrics
- 9. You Spin Me Round (like a record) by Dead or Alive
Dumb and Dumber. This song really gets on your nerves, its no wonder people stopped by records and converted to CD's after seeing and hearing this song over and over!
- 8. Total Eclipe of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
This video seemed like it would never end! It was weird and I hated the song! Besides I really believe the woman who sang this was pre Milli Vanilli and had someone else sing the lead to this song because her voice is way to deep to have ever reached any of the high notes in this song!
- 7. Gimme All your Lovin', Legs, Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top
The video producers should have just made one video medly of all three of these songs becase they all sounded alike to me and the videos were horrible. The video to "Legs" showed some promise over the others.
- 6. Shy Boy(don't it make you feel good) by Bananarama
This bands record company must be flat broke to send these poor girls to each video set they ever made to figure out just how bad they can make a video suck! This one takes the cake however!
- 5. Mirror man by Human league
The band is in a dressing room getting ready to play while a speed boat film rushes by and keeps crashing and breaking into bits. I don't get it? Great song, but don't watch it just listen.
- 4. Girl From Impanema Went To Greenland by B-52's
One of my favorite bands, but this video is just bad! They look like little minature people silouhettes getting bounced around for no reason.
- 3. Do you Believe In Love by Huey Lewis And The News
The band is in bed with a woman while she sleeps and they sing and play their instruments! Bad song and bad video.
- 2. Let The Music Play by Shannon
O.K. I guess for a dance song, the song is o.k., but my god this video is terrible. She is just standing on a platform swinging the long braids in her hair around and not even attempting to dance!
- 1. Thriller by Michael Jackson
I hate this song! I would run over hot lava to change the channel if this song ever came on my TV set again.
- 10. Physical by Olivia Newton-John
- 9. Separate Ways by Journey
Steve Perry is "straining" way too much to jusy be lip-synching.
- 8. Head Over Heels by Go-Gos
Video is just crap.
- 7. I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany
Bad video, bad song. Maybe if she could've written her own stuff instead of covering past hits.
- 6. Wake me up Before You Go Go by Wham!
Actually, anything Wham! did was...deplorable.
- 5. Foolin' by Def Leppard
Someone explain this one to me.
- 4. Safety Dance by Men Without Hats
Not sure about this one....
- 3. Puttin' on the Ritz by Taco
Bad, really, bad.
- 2. In a Big Country by Big Country
Just what do the ATVs have to do with anything?
- 1. I Ran by Flock of Seagulls
How can such a great song be attached to such a horrible video?
- 10. Dreams by Grace Slick
Scary. Very scary. If anyone remembers it, there should be a support group for you. I still have nightmares of Gracie in a freaksome cleavage-baring royal purple Lycra evening gown, singing the lines: "Sons of whores and sons of bitches..." while a wind machine tosses about her Medusa-like locks. Now, we know Gracie was a firm believer of better living through chemistry--but this video, and THIS VIDEO ALONE, could replace those egg-in-a-frying-pan anti-drug commercials with more efficient results. This is you. This is you after dropping acid 65 times and naming your child God... 'nuff said? Be afraid. Be very afraid.
- 9. Talking in your sleep by The Romantics
The Romantics symbolized everything that was horrible about the post-punk/post-new wave era. From their awful greasy shiny leather vests, to the dancing sonabulist babes in cheezy teddies... just bad. Crap.
- 8. Freeze Frame by J. Geils
The whole paint thing is/was just toooo Freudian/anal stage for me--these guys could benefit from a lot of therapy. Besides, the song really got annoying after a while.
- 7. Twilight Zone by Golden Earring
Yeah, I admit it, I thought it was cool in '82--when I was a freshman in highschool and usually under the influence of some controlled substance--like Capri Sun. Just a dumb, dumb video--even with the dancing dominatrixes--so Solid Gold/Denny Terrio. To think...they went from Radar Love, the quintessential late-night, drivin' back to save yer baby song...to this. 'Tis a shame...
- 6. Such a Pretty Mess (of my dress) by Vanity 6
I don't really remember this video too well, and the official name escapes me--but the vid had Vanity and some e-femme looking guy (both in feather lined-black lace catsuits) prancing around blowing feathers and champagne bubbles at each other. Really odd. On one level, it's almost too surrealto be bad (so it could be a work of art and I'm just not in on the joke--kind of like a Blair Witch Project debate)...but, on another level...the song sucked, Vanity earned her "where is she now" ticket to obscurity, and both of the participants looked like absolute d-bags.
- 5. Don't Put Another Dime in the Jukebox by The Flirts
Cheap new wave knock off with said band lip-syncing (poorly) and looking extremely early 80's 'bridge and tunnel' in their off the shoulder T-shirts, cat's eye glasses, and stupid hair.
- 4. Separate Ways by Journey
Ouch. Just... ouch. Inspired a legion of air-guitarists, though, I'm sure.
- 3. TV Dinner by ZZ Top
Really crappy animation of space aliens coming out of an old-fashioned foil covered (pre-microwave dish) TV dinner. They should be shaved and spanked. The band, that is, not the aliens.
- 2. Say Say Say by Micahael Jackson and Paul McCartney
Michael Jackson playing the part of a clown in a traveling show for children. How eerily prophetic and stomach-churning is that?
- 1. The War Song by Culture Club
I mean, Georgie sings the following: "War war is stupid and people are stupid...and love means nothing in some strange quarter." He sure looks fetching, but the poor dope's a simpleton to say the least when it comes to scathing, insightful political analysis.
By: Dario Labbate
- 10. Break it up by Carl Lewis
The great Carl with an old woman in a bathroom!! OH MY GOD!!!
- 9. Rock Of Ages by Def Leppard
This David Mallet's video is photographed with only 3 colours.
- 8. Change generation by Pupo
Pupo is one of the worst italian singer. This is a wonderful example of animated video..
- 7. Lettera A John Taylor by Bobby Solo
Another italian singer.. This is from the 60s. In this awful video & song he write a letter to Duran Duran's member, John Taylor.
- 6. Born To raise hell by Motorhead
- 5. Blow Your Speakers by Manowar
One of the greatest metal "Coatt" of all time. HAIL!! HAIL !! HAIL AND KILL
- 4. Holy Smoke by Iron Maiden
Up the videos!!! This , directed by bassist Steve harris is photographed very poor and is very, very fun....
- 3. Come dancing by The Kinks
This is one of the best Julien Temple's videos. And the song is very cool... BABY, YOU REALLY GOT ME!!!!
- 2. I Can't Drive 55 by Sammy Hagar
This video, directed by Gilbert Bettman Jr. , Is THE BEST OF THE cOOLLOOOOLLLLLL VIDEOS OF ALL TIME!!! is VERY FUN!!!
- 1. Can't get there from here by R.E.M.
This wonderful Michael Stipe's video is one of my favourite . It is very kitsh and very..very..fun!!! Losing my religion for me is the worst!!!
I love these videos!!! These are very very very Cheesy
- 10. election day by arcadia
don't let the duranies kill me!!!! i love arcadia, but the pointlessness of this video is unbelievable. oh well, at least there are some sexy shots of simon lebon and nick rhodes. i wonder if simon would teach me that dance he does?
- 9. sledgehammer by peter gabriel
i love peter gabriel, but i never liked this song. then i saw the video. oh yes, the dancing raw chickens changed my mind, but i have to wonder what he and the director were smoking to come up with this stuff...
- 8. hello again by cars
he's walking on water in a pool. the gang of idiots are assembled aroung the edge. they are so amazed by him. i'm amazed that he wasn't burned at the stake for making us watch this crap.
- 7. babydoll by devo
you have to see the one from "tapeheads" not the real one. in the fake one stiv bators and his band of the moment lip-sync along to devo while being coated in paint and glitter, and eventually being set on fire.
- 6. der kommissar by after the fire or falco
the after the fire one is scary, and that girl is disturbing. falco is pretending to run for five minutes in his with fake police cars chasing him. take your pick
- 5. wake me up before you go-go by wham!
come on, it's by wham! that's enough to make an oscar contender look cheesy
- 4. sunglasses at night by corey hart
he's wearing sunglasses...and red shoes...at night...in a jail...ran by a v-jay from much music. que?
- 3. melody by boys brigade
this is the only bad canadian band i've ever heard (with the exception of cats can fly). "there was a girl, such a beatiful girl", come on!
- 2. let's go to bed by cure
i love this song, i love this video, but it has to be the most non-sesical thing i have ever seen.
- 1. i could be happy by altered images
see rio's comments. that about sums it up.
chucky g is our god and he will reign over us forever. if only he'd do a boys brigade page on his bands site...
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