Top Ten Cheeziest Videos of the 80s
Below are the lists of submissions to the site....
This page currently edited by: Sylence. Past editor: Junior
- 10. ??? by Mariah Carey
Don't remember the song, just her trying to hide her mole throughout the entire video and seemed to be on a rollercoaster alot!
- 9. These Dreams by Heart
- 8. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper
BORING BORING BORING
- 7. Vogue (strike a pose?) by Madonna
Please! Enough. If I ever saw anyone striking poses, I'd walk the other way real quick.
- 6. ????? by Madonna
Madonna lying on a bed in Chains singing a boring song...so boring I forgot the name of it.
- 5. Justify My Love by Madonna
Kind of liked the song but the video was skeevy and all I could think of was STD's & bed bugs and lice running around wherever it was she was.
- 4. Like A Prayer by Madonna
Just remember something unnerving about it and waiting for lightning to strike her or something!
- 3. Open your Heart to me by Madonna
The peep show with her dancing and these creepy perverts sitting in those dark little peep booths gave me the skeeves!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the little boy idolizing her picture and her skipping off into the sunset with irked me..If I was that little boy's mom I would'nt want her near him!
- 2. All Paula Abduel songs by Paula Abduel (?)spelling
The're either too cutesy or just downright boring
- 1. She drives me Crazy by Fine Young Cannibals
I actually liked the song, but the video was just plain strange!
There must have been 1 or two by Cher as well I'd add to the list. Forget them as they too, were boring....
By: Celeste Keenan
- 10. Welcome To The Jungle by Guns
Nothing to say about this song except maybe some of the half-naked women in the video ought to put some clothes on!
- 9. Once In A Lifetime by The Talking Heads
Hardly worth commenting on except to say that if this video was entered in a "Cheesy Video Contest" it would win hands down.
- 8. Where The Streets Have No Name by Crowded House
A mediocre attempt to take a great song by U2 and put into a cheesy video. I think U2 ought to take all of the royalties that they got from this song and sue Crowded House for doing their song all in bad taste!
- 7. I Want To Break Free by Queen
Cross-dressing at it's worst! I have much respect for Freddie and the gang but I have little to no respect for this song.
- 6. 99 Luft Baloons (99 Red Baloons) by Nena
I'm sorry but here's another song that just doesn't make any sense to me? They don't even shave under their arms. Eeech! The chorus leaves nothing to the imagination: "99 luft baloons!" What the hell is that? The singer couldn't carry a tune even if her life depended on it.
- 5. Hangin Tough by New Kids On The Block
ARRRRGGGHHHH! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!
- 4. I Want Your Sex by George Michael
Can we say: "horney single guy with his dick stuck in between his ears?" Can we also say: "Egotist?"
- 3. People Are People by Depeche Mode
Don't get me wrong, Depeche Mode is a great band but what the hell are they trying to get accross in this song? Sorry Depeche Mode fans but I just don't understand this song at all?
- 2. Spirit In The Sky by Doctor and the Medics
I like this song a lot better when Ted Nuget did it. I just can't stand the version that good ol' Doc and the Medic did. The video for this song just absolutely killed what was once Ted Nugets. Take it outside god boys!
- 1. You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) by Dead Or Alive
What is maybe the CHEESIEST song of all time is also one of the CRAPPIEST songs of all time. The name of the band pretty much speaks for itself. Are these guys dead or are they alive? MAKE UP YOUR FRIGGIN MINDS!
Dishonorable mentions go to: Cherry Pie by Warrant Unskinny Bop by Poison Here we go again by Whitesnake
- 10. We Stand Alone by Killer Dwarfs
My list consists almost entirely of metal videos because I've forgotten most of the others over the years. This particular video, shot by a Canadian band, was one of the "rock band defeats evil record company executives" type which were popular on various Power Hour shows for a while. One of the dopier ones.
- 9. Just A Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody by David Lee Roth
A hilarious video. I'm including it here anyways because any list of the cheesiest 1980's videos must honour Dave Roth. California Girls is great too.
- 8. Freeze Frame by J.Geils Band
I have a vague memory of seeing this video once many years ago. It consisted of the band members throwing paint at each other.
- 7. The Fly On The Wall Concept Video by AC/DC
You may not believe this, but AC/DC actually did a five-song concept video for their "Fly On The Wall" album, considered by most fans to be the low point of their career. The five videos constitute what is supposed to be a coherent storyline. I'll let your imagination fill in the blanks. "Shake Your Foundations" was the popular hit. It's cheesy, all right.
- 6. Balls To The Wall by Accept
I'd forgotten about this one until I read the above reviews. Yeah, it's a real crotch-grabber. Like the Safety Dance video, it also features a midget -- except he's actually the band's singer.
- 5. Bark At The Moon by Ozzy Osbourne
Need I say more? A terrific song, but again, whoa! fromage.
- 4. (can't remember title) by Kick Axe
I forget the song title, but the band was almost certainly Kick Axe. It was one of those heavy-metal videos in which the band invade a classroom and turn the dowdy teacher into a hot rock-n-roll babe. Been done before by Van Halen of course, but Kick Axe make it high comedy.
- 3. Rock You by Helix
I've gotta agree with above comments on this one. I always though Helix actually revelled in their cheesiness (and rightly so!), and Rock You was a great song. But -- damn! -- it's a _cheesy_ video. The definitive low point comes at the end: the words "Rock You" have been written in gasoline on a rock, and they're set on fire. Cheesy enough for you?
- 2. Zero The Hero by Black Sabbath
One of Black Sabbath's greatest songs, but a God-awful ridiculous video. This concept video is based on Frankenstein, and features a group of freaks trying to sew together a human being from body parts. When they finally succeed, he turns out to look like Murray Bozinski from Riptide, and spends the rest of the video drinking ketchup. This brilliant premise is interspersed with live footage from the Montreal Forum, just to make things more confusing. From the 1983 Born Again album, which also spawned the bizarre video Trashed (nearly as bad as Zero The Hero).
- 1. Locked In by Judas Priest
This is the most ridiculous video I have ever seen. It's even dopier than Priest's earlier "Hot Rockin'" which (believe me) is _really_ silly. It consists entirely of the guys in Judas Priest (dressed in leather of course) being (I'm not making this up) chased through subterranean caverns by scantily clad models. Unbelievably hilarious and, because it's so bad, fun as hell to watch. They must have had a great time making it. From the 1986 Turbo album, the one almost every Priest fan wants desperately to forget. They still haven't surpassed Locked In yet, but I haven't given up on them.
Heavy Metal was a wonderful thing. When I was fifteen I could listen to it and enjoy it, thinking "Hey, this is really cool". Now that I'm thirty I can listen to the same songs and still enjoy it, thinking "Hey, this is really hilarious". It's like Road Runner cartoons -- great for all ages.
- 10. Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar
What do you do when a man sexually harasses you? Shake your t*ts at him of course!! Whoever promoted the concept of dance sequences in almost every 80's video should be eaten by rats.
- 9. I Got My Mind Set On You by George Harrison
I almost lost all respect for George after this one. Incredibly cheesy concept...... and a dance sequence! Which way to the vomitorium?
- 8. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham
Choose Life? I choose death for George and Andrew on this effort - slowly....painfully.....
- 7. Movie Tie-in Songs/Videos by
Song-Movie tie-ins were rampant during the eighties. Lame bands interspersed with movie clips were all too common. Most notable to me was Kenny Loggins trying to look tough in "Danger Zone" - Totally laughable.
- 6. Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears
I really like this group but this video makes me want to projectile vomit. The cutesy factor was really overdone here.
- 5. I Love Rock n Roll by Joan Jett
One of the worst, most irritating chugga chugga three chord songs ever. Hearing it makes me want to stick my head in the oven. I could never understand Joan's appeal.
- 4. Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners
Overplayed one-hit wonders in bad clothing. I thank God that this so-called fashion trend didn't catch on.
- 3. Anything by Air Supply
The most testosterone-challenged band ever. Want some cheese with your whine?
- 2. David Lee Roth by Yankee Rose
How do I despise this man? Let me count the ways....Poster boy for self-centeredness and poser non pareil Roth should be euthanized, not for his benefit but for ours.
- 1. No Way Out by Starship
Without a doubt the worst and most incomprehensible video ever. Proof that LSD is alive and well and coursing through the veins of whoever conceptualized this video.
By: Louie and Holley
- 10. Harden My Heart (I think it was this one) by Quarterflash
This video made absolutely no sense....no matter how much you wanted it to, it made no sense.
- 9. In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins
Did you have to be on an alternate reality plane to understand this video? What was with the floaty Phil head?
- 8. Too Shy by Kajagoogoo
Too much hair, everywhere hair.
- 7. Pass The Dutchie by Musical Youth
- 6. Girl, You Know It's True by Milli Vanilli
1) What was with the stupid jump in the air and touch chests thing? 2) Do I really need to have a number two...
- 5. Separate Ways by Journey
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- 4. Mickey by Toni Basil
"Hey Mickey"....get a clue.
- 3. Like A Virgin by Madonna
What does being feeling like a pseudo-virgin have to do with gondolas or lions?
- 2. Oh, Sherry by Steve Perry
I kinda liked the song, but whoever came up with the concept for the video should be forced to WATCH IT!!! (almost number one)
- 1. I Ran by Flock Of Seagulls
Yeah, I wish I could play a whole song with one finger too and I don't think hair is supposed to do that.
That being said....I LOVED THE SONGS!
- 10. Whip It by Devo
Good for its time, but for today, a tad bit disturbing to see a blind Asian girl walking around aimlessly while half a dozen, half-naked guys with red hats brandish whips.
- 9. Everybody Wants To Rule the World by REO Speedwagon
Boring.... It just shows different shots of the lead singer's profile.
- 8. Vacation by The Go-Gos
Looks like they're having fun in the video, but the whole video makes me cringe when I see their outfits:)
- 7. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive
Another scary, scary singer. Avoid letting little kids watch this cheesy video.
- 6. Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx
I had to list this song, even though I'm a MAJOR Richard Marx fan. The music video showing him playing a piano and parts of his concert tour didn't do the song and him justice. Couldn't they come up with a better concept that actually relates to the song a little bit more?
- 5. Karma Chameleon by Culture Club
I'm sorry, but Boy George freaks me out. Especially since he does his make-up better than most girls. Video makes no sense at all to the song.
- 4. She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby
Haha, I laugh everytime the old mad scientist pops up with his funny little head throughout the song.
- 3. Mickey by Tony Basil
It's not that I have anything against cheerleaders, but the whole look of the video is horrendous. But I do like the song by itself, way way too catchy.
- 2. Borderline by Madonna
So, so cheesy with the hopscotch.
- 1. Words by Missing Persons
What the heck was she thinking - the clothes, the hair, the makeup????
By: Rob Hofmann
- 10. Rockit by Herbie Hancock
Winner of the first MTV Video Award.
- 9. Walk This Way by Run-DMC and Aerosmith
- 8. Whip It by Devo
- 7. One by Metallica
Set a new standard for overly epic videos.
- 6. Take On Me by A-ha
- 5. Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr.
The king of all cheesy videos.
- 4. Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles
First video on MTV!
- 3. Thriller by Michael Jackson
Nobody had as many good videos in the 80s as Michael.
- 2. Bastards of Young by The Replacements
The video that the 'Mats sent to MTV for the first single off their "Tim" album consisted only of four minutes of footage of a stereo playing the song, good enough to earn second place on my list.
- 1. Money For Nothing by Dire Straits
The best video ever, a song about hating music videos.
My list of "significant" videos.
By: Dario Labbate
- 10. Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck by Prong
one of my favourite metal band of all time....e so ragazzi!!
- 9. Nowhere by Therapy?
well, what can I say? it's great!!
- 8. Hot For Teacher by Van Halen
ooh..yeah.......BADIALI in the sky....
- 7. I'm broken by Pantera
da noi se direbbe "me so rotto"..this video
- 6. I Hate You by Slayer
very "Incazzated" video to the sky of darkness ..taken from the "undisputed attitude" album
- 5. Born To Raise Hell by Motorhead
great song from the 1994's movie "Airheads"...ci vorrebbe soltanto una bella porcellona con 2 belle chiappone e 2 belle tettone!!!AH AH AH!
- 4. Blow Your Speakers by Manowar
One of the greatest metal "coatt" of all time HAIL! HAIL! HAIL AND KILL.....from a battle i've come to a battle..............
- 3. Big Gun by AC/DC
This David Mallet's video is great for the performance of Arnold "SwarziNieger" ..very Ennio-Gothic-Slayer
- 2. Holy Smoke by Iron Maiden
UP THE VIDEOS!!!!!! This, directed by legendary bassist Steve Harris in 1990 and taken from the "No prayer for the dying" album is photographed very poor and is very, very fun.......oh god!!!!!! Smoke for me, Pomezia! (my lovely hometown) and..in the sky
- 1. I Can't Drive 55 by Sammy Hagar
This video, taken from the wonderful VOA album, is THE BEST OF THE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL VIDEOS OF ALLL ALLL ALL TIME!!!!!! is very, very FUNNN!!!!! and very "asburgic"
This is my Top 10 Asburgical's videos of all time
- 10. so ragazzi by Richard Benson featuring Stefano Capozzi
- 9. Mo so cazzetti vostri by Antani featuring Mike Patton
michele pattino insieme ad antani!!!!!!!
- 8. I Am The Law by Alfredredd featuring Anthrax
cover del celeberrimo hit single del 1987 degli Anthrax qui in veste di backing vocals del mitico Alfredredd alias Alfredo De Cristofaro (born in Civitavecchia in 1976)
- 7. Sky of darkness by Pino Scotto featuring Fabio Pinci
- 6. Shadoow by Luca Turilli
- 5. Matando Gueros by Brujeria
- 4. I Remembre by River Of Change
- 3. River of Antani in the sky by Hammerfall featuring Badiali
- 2. Quest for glory by Drakkar
- 1. Dandi balladas by Burzum
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