"Dude we can fix it, my dad's got an awesome set of tools."

"People on 'ludes should not drive."

"My dad is a tv repair man, he's got this ultimate set of tools, i can fix it"-Jeff Spicoli

Spicoli (on phone): (Taps head with shoe) "Hear that? Can you guess what it is? That was my skull! I'm so wasted!"

Spicoli: "You dick!"

Spicoli: "My old man has this excellent set of repair tools, I can fix it".

"What Jeffeson was trying to say is, we left that England place because it was bogus and if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too."

Stacy Hamilton: When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out? Linda Barrett: A quart or so.

"Awesome, totally Awesome!!!!"

Mike Damone and his infamous 'five-point plan': First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

i hope you had a hell of a piss arnold!!!!

"Learn it, know it, live it!"

Does anybody f**king knock anymore?

"Your brother's gonna shit! He's gonna kill us!" "Well make up your mind, dude. Is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?"

"This is American History, I see the globe right there."

"What are you people, on dope?"

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Dice (HA HA HA HA)

Customer: "It says 'one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed' you moron!" Brad: "Sir, if you don't shut up I'm going to kick one hundred percent of your ass!"

Spicoli: "I'm here for Geography class" Mr. Hand: "How do you know this is Geography" Spicoli: "Look at the globe, dude."

Spicoli: "I'm here for Geography class"
Mr. Hand: "How do you know this is Geography"
Spicoli: "Look at the globe, dude."

Its a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high-school.

"Life can pass you by if you don't stop and take a look around."

"You're not dying you just cant think of anything good to do"

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

"I mean really, I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be Facist Energists for all I care, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, 'I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.' Good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus- I'd still have to bum rides off people."

Ferris Bueller you're my hero!

'You wear too much eye make-up, my sister wears too much eye make-up, people think she's a whore'

Ferris Bueller: Cameron, dear friend, you thought we wouldn't have any fun. Shame on you.

"He was the walrus...I could be the walrus." (About John Lennon)

cameron: "i think i see my dad."(when they're looking down at the street from the top of that tall building and they can barely see the cars!!!!)

"The 1961 Ferrari, two-fifty GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion..." "It is his fault, he didn't lock the garage." "Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to."

Mr. Rooney: He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this student body. Grace: He makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed

"Ferris Bueller, you're my hero!"

"I do have a test today; that wasn't bull. It's on European Socialism. I mean really, whats the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who cares if they're socialists? They could be Facist Energists for all I care. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone facism, or any other ism for that matter. Isms, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an ism; he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, 'I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.' Good point there. After all...he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus-I'd still have to bum rides off of people."

"I think we should shoot her." - Tom Bueller, about Jeannie

SAVE FERRIS!

Ferris to Cameron: "Take some Pepto Bismol and get yourself over here!" Girl on Bus to Mr. Rooney: "Want a gummy bear? They're soft and warm, they have been in my pocket."

I do have a test today...that wasn't bullshit. It's on European Socialism. I mean really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be facist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car.

"Le joue son fait. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine!" "Listen, I'm glad you hope my brother's feeling better pal, but I'm in a lot of danger right now! I'm very cute, I'm very alone, and I'm very protective of my body, I don't want it violated or killed, ALL RIGHT? Speak it in ENGLISH? DICK HEAD!" "I heard that you were feeling ill! Headache, fever, and a chill! I came to help restore your pluck! 'Cause I'm the nurse who likes to ----."

Guy at restaurant : "Abe Frulman; the Sausage King of Chicago"? Ferris : "That's me "

Rooney: "I don't trust that kid as far as I can throw him." Grace: "Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't be throwing anything... it's true."

Ferris sister, responding to an unknown person in the house (who is the principal): "Whoever you are, I just want you to know that I have my father's gun, and scorching case of herpes!"
"Um, he's sick. My best friends sisters boyfriends brothers girlfriend heard from this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."
I mean really, I'm not European. I don't plan on BEING European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be Facists anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car.
(Cameron singing) "When Cameron was in Egypt's land...Let my Cameron go."

"We can't pick up Sloan in your car. Mr. Rooney would never believe Mr. Peterson drives that piece of s#$#." "It's not a piece of s#$#." "It is a piece of s#$#. Relax, I don't even have a piece of s#$#, I have to envy yours."

Grace: "The Sportos, Motorheads, Geeks, Sluts, Buds, Dweebies, Wastoids, they all adore him."

"Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."

"I don't even have a piece of shit; I have to envy yours."

"The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you a good phoney fever is a deadlock, but you get a nervous Mother, you could wind up in a Doctor's office-that's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then so is high school."

(door bell rings) Ferris Bueller-Who is it? Ed Rooney-Its Ed Ronney Ferris i need to have a word with u. Bueller-Oh I am sorry I cant come to the door right now I feel that in my weekend condition I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject my self to further school absences. Ronney-Ferris get down here. Bueller-You can reach my parents at their places of business. Ronney-Ferris. Bueller-Thank you for stoping by I appricte your concern for my well being. Ronney-FERRIS(rings doorbell) Buller-Who is it? Ronney-You know damn well who it is.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

not that i condone fashism, or any ism in that matter, isms in my opinion are not good. a man should no believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. i quote john lennon "i dont believe in beatles, i just believe in me" a good point there, after all he was the walrus, i could be the walrus, but id still have to bum rides off people.

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a DIAMOND."

"When Cameron was in egypt land.....let my cameron go"

I do have a test today, that wasn't bullsh**. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car.

I heard that you were feeling ill / Headache, fever, and a chill / I came to help restore your pluck / 'Cause I'm the nurse who likes to... (jeannie slams door)

life moves pretty fast if you dont stop and look around everyonce in awhile you could miss it

"Bueller, Bueller."

"I swear Cammeron is so tense that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass in about 10 seconds it would be a diamond."

" Bueller...Beuller..... Beuller?"

"Is this heaven?" "No, its Iowa."

"If you build it, they will come."

Archie: "Sir, you are a vulgarian."
Otto: "YOU'RE the vulgarian, you fuck!!!"

"It's K-K-K-Ken C-C-C-Coming to K-K-K-Kill me.

The chip-England's contribution to world cuisine. And what goes with chips? Wait a tick--it's fish!"

"Pathetic earthlings! Hurling your bodies out into the void...without the slightest inkling of who or what is out there! If you had any idea of the true nature of the universe, any at all, you would have hidden from it in terror." - Ming the Merciless

if you give up your dreams, you die

"Today is a good day to die."

That's a beautiful wing, I love the shape.
No, really doc. It feels much better already. I think maybe if I did some calnesthenics and bent over like this every morning... MOON RIVER! Ever serve time, doc?
I'll have a steak sandwich and a... steak sandwich.
Why don't you guys go down to the gym and pump each other.
Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo." - when the woman opens the door wearing a towel and nothing else
Fletch says, as they enter the Stanwyck mansion: "You know, I came this close to buying this place, until I heard that Hopalong Cassidy killed himself here. Bow and arrow . . . very weird."
Nurse to Fletch, as he enters the hospital: "May I help you Doctor . . ."
Fletch: "Yes, I'm Doctor Rosen-Penis. Can you tell me where the Records Room is?"
At the dinnertable Blaine responds to the question: "What are your plans?"
"Well, I've given this a lot of thought, and I don't want to buy anything, sell anything or process anything for a living. I don't want to buy anything sold or processed, or sell anything bought or processed, or process anything bought or sold or processed. . . Or repair anything bought or sold or processed. I don't want to do that for a living."
Doc: "Barbar that's an unusual name. Isn't there a childrens book about an elephant name Barbar."
Fletch: "I don't know, I don't have any."
Doctor: "What, children."
Fletch: "No, elephant books."

"Your wife said something to me while we were in bed together. She said that we had roughly the same build...from the waist up, I imagine..."

Fletch in a maid costume: "I'm going to just clean up here"
Old man: "What ever makes you feel sexy!"

"What do want me to do, boss?" "Oh, why don't you jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton?"

"Eat the cookie, Mama!"

[In line waiting for the televangelist service] Guy: "Name, sir?" Fltech: "Irwin Fletcher. Irwin Mohatma Fletcher." Guy: "Address?" Fltech: "Seven."

" Be afraid be very afraid"

"I thought this was a party? LET'S DANCE!!!"

Red: "Lets dance!" Ariel: "My daddy hates me in these red boots." Rusty: "I can't believe this town."

up on the roof oh yeah, 100 proof oh yeah, oh ain't that fine oh yeah, drink cherry slime oh yeah
Chuck: "I thought only pansies wore neckties"
Ren: "Yeah, well I thought only a**holes used a word like pansies"

"What's a nice Jewish boy like you doing in the sixth dimension?"

Tod:"I'm a fox!" Copper: "And I'm a houndog!" Tod:"You're my best friend in the whole world, Copper." Copper: "And you're my best friend Tod." Tod:"We'll always be friends forever." Copper:"Yeah, forever."

Crazy Ralf: You're all doomed.

"You're so cool Brewster"- Evil Eddie

"There's no such thing as vampires fruitcake"

You think we waste Gooks for "freedom"? This is a slaughter. If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.

Only steers and queers come from Texas and you don't look like no steer!

SGT Hartman: "What is your major malfunction numb nuts?"

"Well, there's one thing you won't like Private Snowball. They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall."

Joker: "I want to slip my tubestick into your sister"