Ten Criteria for the Perfect 80's Music Video, Groups Beginning with J

Compiled mostly by Chris Pyhtila with the help of Andy Pachmayer, Chris Burger, and Aaron Fynewever

Further commentary added by ChuckyG and various web visitors...

This page currently edited by: Rio Rhodes. Past editor: Rock 'n' Roll Fan

The Original Criteria

  1. At least one babe
  2. Poofy hair
  3. Torn clothing
  4. Cheesy keyboards
  5. At least one change of clothing
  6. Stage effects (smoke, lasers, etc.) or visual effects (artist jumping through a TV, disappearing, etc.)
  7. Wild instrumental or record scratch solo
  8. A storyline
  9. A cool car (although any kind of transportation is acceptable, like a plane or a car or a motorcycle)
  10. Sunglasses

Songs beginning with: [Index] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z] [misc]
Jan Hammer's, "Miami Vice theme"
  1. Babes? Two girls walking in a bikini
  2. Poofy Hair? Richardo Tubbs with his short afro.
  3. Torn Clothing? Policemen wearing leisure suits at work?
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Most of the song is with a keyboard
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Different kinds of leisure suits.
  6. Stage Effects? Explosions.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Jan Hammer wearing a keyboard.
  8. Storyline? The intro from the "Miami vice" tvshow with a little extra. Jan Hammer plays the bad guy.
  9. Cool Automobile? Ohh yeah. The famous Ferrari Daytona spyder
  10. Sunglasses? Actually...no...
Submitted by: Erling Berg Bentse
Janet Jackson's, "When I Think Of You"
  1. Babes? Janet's the babe (I dunno if there is another one)
  2. Poofy Hair? Everyone's got poofy hair, except the kids who star in
  3. Torn Clothing? Noooooo
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? The whole song has cheesy keyboards, but I love it!
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Er ... I guess ... no
  6. Stage Effects? I gotta see the video hard ...
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? No wild instrumental break, but a catchy bass solo
  8. Storyline? It's not really a story. But there's only a guy telling Janet and her friends to stop from dancing (isn't that strange?)
  9. Cool Automobile? Yes, some kids sleep in a baby blue car
  10. Sunglasses? There are three guys playing brass and wearing sunglasses
Submitted by: Koo Koo
Janet Jackson's, "Control"
  1. Babes? Aw, guess who ... Janet of course!
  2. Poofy Hair? If you look at her in the beginning of her performance, her hair is kinda poofy and - ugh - damn funny
  3. Torn Clothing? One of the keyboarders tears his jacket apart
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Yes!! Lots of cheesy keyboards
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? In the story-part Janet wears a white shirt, when she did her performance she wears some black clothes
  6. Stage Effects? Yes, lots of smoke on the stage
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Janet's Piano Solo near the end of the song
  8. Storyline? Yep, there's a story, but I don't really understand it
  9. Cool Automobile? The funny car that enters the stage
  10. Sunglasses? Two of the keyboarders wear sunglasses
Submitted by: Janet-Fan
Janet Jackson's, "What have you done for me lately?"
  1. Babes? Janet! Oh, wait, that's a lie, there are lots of babes there
  2. Poofy Hair? Janet and Paula Abdul are looking poofy
  3. Torn Clothing? Um, no, I don't think there's any torn clothing
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Nope, but in the end you can hear a crazy piano playing
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Every time Janet wears a black jacket and then takes it off again
  6. Stage Effects? Nope
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Yes
  8. Storyline? Janet tells her friend (starring Paula Abdul) about her boyfriend who always "stands her up", but Janet still thinks he's fine and loves him, later Paula asks her friend: "What has he done for you lately?"
  9. Cool Automobile? I think if you look hard out a window, you can see a red car
  10. Sunglasses? Some dancer wears sunglasses
Submitted by: Jeremy
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts's, "Bad Reputation"
  1. Babes? Joan Jett. She's so cool.
  2. Poofy Hair? Joan Jett. And probably some of the band members.
  3. Torn Clothing? Probably one of the Blackhearts, i can't remember offhand.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? No...? I don't think
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? From no leather jacket, to one...something like that.
  6. Stage Effects? The Silent Movie cue cards things "I know, we'll make our own label!"
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Yes. Just listen.
  8. Storyline? Yah, Joan can't get signed to a label and get thrown out of bars. They give up and make own label. All is well.
  9. Cool Automobile? the white van w/ the Black heart on it. Get it? Blackhearts ... Black Heart?
  10. Sunglasses? I think so. I'll watch the video again.
Submitted by: Mary
Journey's, "Seperate Ways"
  1. Babes? The girl Steve Perry sings about
  2. Poofy Hair? The girl
  3. Torn Clothing?
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Dude playing keyboard on the side of building
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing?
  6. Stage Effects?
  7. Wild Instrumental solo?
  8. Storyline?
  9. Cool Automobile?
  10. Sunglasses? The Band
Submitted by: BRENT ADANI
Journey's, "Separate Ways"
  1. Babes? The foxy chick in the white high heels and too much make-up: The focus of the video! Pretty hot, if you can ignore the outfit.
  2. Poofy Hair? Boy howdy! Take your pick. Almost everyone has poofy hair--and if they don't, it's a mullet! AUGH!!!
  3. Torn Clothing? The sleeves are cut off a lot of the shirts.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? In spades! There's even a cheesy keyboard solo at the beginning! Meedley-meedley-meedley!
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? No... but there is more than one INSTRUMENT change! Including where they go from playing AIR-keyboards/guitar/bass to *POOF* REAL INSTRUMENTS! :D
  6. Stage Effects? The disappearing/reappearing of instruments and band members. It's cheesey. Take my word for it.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? There is a real speedy guitar riff solo--way up on those tiny strings! Vwee vwee!
  8. Storyline? The beautiful woman is DREAMING the whole video... *waggles eyebrows* Get it? She's listening to her Journey album on headphones as she sleeps, and Steve is telling her that he still loves her. If she finds love, he hopes that she can let the "chains that bind" her break! But if her new love hurts her, he will still be waiting! Aww... ;_;
  9. Cool Automobile? No, but there's a cool forklift and grey van.... >.>
  10. Sunglasses? Dig the awesome aviator sunglasses on Mr. Moustache! :D
Submitted by: Corin
Songs beginning with: [Index] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z] [misc]
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