Ten Criteria for the Perfect 80's Music Video, Groups Beginning with P
Compiled mostly by Chris Pyhtila with the help of Andy Pachmayer, Chris
Burger, and Aaron Fynewever
Further commentary added by ChuckyG and various web visitors...
This page currently edited by: Rio Rhodes. Past editor: Rock 'n' Roll Fan
The Original Criteria
- At least one babe
- Poofy hair
- Torn clothing
- Cheesy keyboards
- At least one change of clothing
- Stage effects (smoke, lasers, etc.) or visual effects (artist jumping through a TV, disappearing, etc.)
- Wild instrumental or record scratch solo
- A storyline
- A cool car (although any kind of transportation is acceptable, like a plane or a car or a motorcycle)
Songs beginning with: [Index
, "Love Is A Battlefield"
- Babes? Pat looks sexy enough in this video, but if more is needed, then look at the pack of hookers that she teams up with !
- Poofy Hair? The hookers have hair stretched up to the roof.
- Torn Clothing? Pat and her hooker friends wear torn clothes. Which is only fitting for a song whose title has "battlefield" in it !
- Cheesy Keyboards? The whole rhythm track was produced by a synthesizer. The intro also features an overly-echoed keyboard sound in the background.
- At Least One Change of Clothing? Pat goes from the girl next door to a prostitute within four minutes. Ay ay ay !
- Stage Effects? Lots of choreography as Pat and her "collegues" start shimmying at men who treat them like, well... whores !
- Wild Instrumental solo? Wild 80's guitar solo playing as Pat & friends start reacting to the abuse of their clients.
- Storyline? Pat runs away from home, leaving her little brother behind, goes to the big and unkind city. She finds nothing welcoming there, so turns to prostitution as a way to survive. Eventually, she grows tired of the abuse and faces the creeps. She finally decides to go back home.
- Cool Automobile? Nice scene with Pat riding around the city in a bus, with nobody looking at her. Maybe not cool, but it's still a transport and it is featured prominently.
- Sunglasses? Some of the hookers and/or their clients wear sunglasses.
Submitted by: Louis
, "We Belong"
- Babes? Ummm, the singer. She was quite a babe.
- Poofy Hair? Short and somewhat poofy.
- Torn Clothing? Nope, just white sheets everywhere.
- Cheesy Keyboards? negative.
- At Least One Change of Clothing? don't think so.
- Stage Effects? THe cliff and the river and the children.
- Wild Instrumental solo? No, its a slow pretty song, there isn't any need for any ear-candy, shes enough eye-candy.
- Storyline? Nope, she just rocks her head and claps with the beat.
- Cool Automobile? The song rocks, no need for one.
- Sunglasses? I can't picture her in sunglasses.
Submitted by: Mike
, "Love Is A Battlefiled"
- Babes? Pat herself and some of the background dancers
- Poofy Hair? Pat herself and ALL of the background dancers
- Torn Clothing? I think every one including Neil got there colthes from the Flashdance/ Cindy Lauper outlet.
- Cheesy Keyboards? Does the drum effects at the start of the song count????
- At Least One Change of Clothing? I would not bet my life on it, but I think I did see a color change in the torn head set of Pat and some of the dancers
- Stage Effects? I saw smoke...and the best part of that was it covered the ugly dancers.
- Wild Instrumental solo? Neil and his Gee-tar...that says it all
- Storyline? No one, but not really nessccery in the 80's
- Cool Automobile? N/A
- Sunglasses? The eye shadow wearn by everyone in the vedio counts as sun block ( meant glasses)
Submitted by: Hunter Clark
, "Love is a Battlefield"
- Babes? Pat and all the other unfortunate young girls
- Poofy Hair? Pat again, especially in the sleazy bar
- Torn Clothing? All the girls, they were down on their luck ya know
- Cheesy Keyboards? definitely key boards... cheesy? You decide.
- At Least One Change of Clothing? At least twenty:)
- Stage Effects? Smoky bar, running lights on stage...
- Wild Instrumental solo? Needed to effectively dance the pimp down
- Storyline? Rebel teen leaves home finds her freedom and the reality of life gets caught up with a super seedy pimp becomes strong and dances her way out of a sticky situation... oh yeah there's a storyline
- Cool Automobile? Rides in and out on a bus, lots of city traffic...
- Sunglasses? The guy with the red bandanna and no shirt in the park
Submitted by: Rachel Morgan
, "Against All Odds"
- Babes? The woman starring in the movie is pretty hot herself.
- Poofy Hair? Phil Collins'!!! LOL!!! Just kidding. The man is great. There has got to be somebody with puffy hair! It's the 80s!!!
- Torn Clothing? No. These people are serious.
- Cheesy Keyboards? Just piano. And it ain't cheesy!
- At Least One Change of Clothing? yeah
- Stage Effects? YES!!! Phil Collins is singing through an ancient Mayan mask!!!
- Wild Instrumental solo? The drums comming in at the middle of the song. It's not exactly a solo but it's very nice!
- Storyline? The Movie.
- Cool Automobile? Aha...That Ferrari and that Porsche are very hot i believe!
- Sunglasses? The guy driving the Porsche is wearing a pair.
Submitted by: Paul Evereign
, "Don't lose my number"
- Babes? The Babes In the fitness scene, the beach scene, and the Japanese Woman
- Poofy Hair? The director who thinks of the western theme
- Torn Clothing? most of the people in the "Road Warrior" Scene
- Cheesy Keyboards? yes
- At Least One Change of Clothing? Every different idea he has a new costume on
- Stage Effects? Fake Blood!
- Wild Instrumental solo? Guitar Solo
- Storyline? Phil Collins Is looking for a music video to go to his latest song
- Cool Automobile? The cars in the "Road Warrior" scene
- Sunglasses? one of the directors has some on
Submitted by: Justin
, "Fallen Angel "
- Babes? Bobbi Brown, also appeared in "Cherry Pie" by Warrant & "Once Bitten, Twicw Shy" by Great White, but this video probably was her first.
- Poofy Hair? Bobbi Brown, Poison, other women
- Torn Clothing? Band members of Poison
- Cheesy Keyboards? None
- At Least One Change of Clothing? The clothes Bobbi wore, a bikini, pink dress (Eat your heart out Reese Witherspoon!), etc.
- Stage Effects? Camera angles, & a few short scenes in black & white
- Wild Instrumental solo? Guitar solo
- Storyline? A runaway decides to go to L.A. to persue her dream as a model or actress & met a fashion mogul who "discovers" & dated her. She later finds out that he's cheating and leaves him. (And kicked him in the groin!!!)
- Cool Automobile? A motorcycle ridden by Bret Micheals & a limo
- Sunglasses? None. I think somebody wore them in the background at the club scene.
Submitted by: Music Video Nut
, "I Want Action"
- Babes? There's chicks in the beginning, in the car with Bret...everywhere.
- Poofy Hair? It was POISON...everyone had big hair, including the chicks. No open flame near their hair...
- Torn Clothing? Torn? Try falling off.
- Cheesy Keyboards? They were cheesy enough to not have cheesy keyboards.
- At Least One Change of Clothing? My gosh those boys have more clothes than a Goodwill.
- Stage Effects? Pyro...pyro...pyro...I think some lime green lights and lazers too.
- Wild Instrumental solo? Of course...C.C. went nuts on that guitar.
- Storyline? Getting groupies.
- Cool Automobile? Yeah, Bret's in a convertible with two chicks.
- Sunglasses? Yup, the big cheap black ones.
Submitted by: Jen Lyons
, "When Doves Cry"
- Babes? Appolonia,I'd do her.
- Poofy Hair? Every member of his band has the biggest hair I've ever seen.
- Torn Clothing? I believe the girls in his band have torn jeans.
- Cheesy Keyboards? Always keyboards in his videos, not sure if they were cheesy by anyone's definition.
- At Least One Change of Clothing? Maybe not a change unless removal of clothing counts.
- Stage Effects? Can't recall
- Wild Instrumental solo? Prince was a fantastic guitar soloist.
- Storyline? Boy gets girl, boy loses girl gets her back again blah blah blah.
- Cool Automobile? Hot purple motorcycle is a nice rid.e
- Sunglasses? You mean the one's Prince wears that are bigger than his whole head practically.
Submitted by: Barb
Prince and the Revolution's
, "When Doves Cry"
- Babes? There was the co-star in the move and I think her name was Appolonia
- Poofy Hair? Prince had the poofy hair style
- Torn Clothing? I don't recall any torn clothing in the video
- Cheesy Keyboards? There was a cheesy keyboard scene in the video
- At Least One Change of Clothing? There was several change of clothing. Prince wore the purple and white set and the silver pasley pants, white shirt and wide-brim hat.
- Stage Effects? There was a scene where everybody in the band were on stage performing the song and right at the end the painted face appear and a single teardrop falls from the eye
- Wild Instrumental solo? The guitar solo was kicking.
- Storyline? The video had a storyline because clipping were taken from the movie Purple Rain.
- Cool Automobile? The cool vehicle in the video was the motorcycle
- Sunglasses? Prince was wearing sunglasses when riding the motorcycle
Submitted by: CJ
Songs beginning with: [Index
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