The Worst 80s Movies, Movies Beginning with G
I want the absolute worst movies from the 80s, and please tell me why you
thought they were the worst movies. Of course, some movies are so bad their
good. I don't agree with all the suggestions here. This page goes against what
I really believe in, but I think everyone needs to vent a little.
This page currently edited by: Indy Gent. Past editor: Banasy
G.I. Joe: The Movie / 1987
Take a really bad Commando Movie, fill it full of twists and turns, then add a Terrorist group that wants to commit a biological terror attack against the Earth and you get G.I. Joe: The Movie. A rather mediocre attempt from Hasbro to make a movie that doesn't stink. I'm sorry but what have the writers of G.I. Joe come to? A tiresome and predictable ending to what was otherwise an excellent show called G.I. Joe. Frankly I think everyone that was involved with this movie could have done a lot better than they did.
Garbage Pail Kids / 1986
Holy crap, what a stinker! The collective cards come to life in this steaming pile of monkey dung. They put the cheesiest looking masks on either kids or midgets and give them the ultimate power of clothes making. Not only that, but they sing and dance in a couple of numbers. They just shouldn't make movies of some things, and this is definitly one of them.
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie / 1987
As you stated for a couple of movies it was funny to me as a kid, but I recently made the mistake of buying it and it really sucked. It's wildly predictable and extremely cheesy.
The Garbage Pail Movie / 1987
Yuck! I thought the trading card series was terrible. Those kids make me sick! It's ripping off the Cabbage Patch Kids!!!!!!
The Gate / 1987
My brother, myself, and a family friend that I haven't seen in 8 years watched this movie together one night, and just found it so cool that this movie was on. Of course, we were about 10 years old at the time. A girl, her younger brother, and one of his friends, who looks like Paul from "The Wonder Years" (but it's not) are alone in the boy and girl's house at night. There was a tree dug up in their back yard, and strange happenings occur as a result of "the hole." It also involves little demons that hide under the bed and try to pull the unsuspecting kids under. The older girl throws a big party at night when the action starts--how typical is that of horror films? This movie may be harmless, but it really stinks. I saw this again 5 years ago, and I couldn't believe how bad it was!
Ghostbusters II / 1989
"Ghostbusters" was one of the best films of 1984--if not the entire decade--but its sequel was just plain awful. I was very surprised, too, because Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis wrote this film and Ivan Reitman directed. "Ghostbusters 2" was just one of the biggest mistakes made.
Cliche rip-off of Gremlins, ghoulies are similar monsters who terrorize people at a local circus/freak show. I think there was a bat, a rat, and some other ghoulie who came up through a toilet. Anyways, it was terrible. I even think it had a sequel!
A dumb movie featuring Sarah Jessica Parker (post "Square Pegs/pre "Sex & The City") as a teen who wants to be on a national teen dance show. Besides her bad acting, the whole plot is cheesy & could've been set as a two part episode of a sitcom like "Who's The Boss". Like a Valley Girl might say, "Gag Me With A Spoon!".
Gobots Battle of the Rocklords / 1986
Boy, where do I begin with this one? This was one of the single worst TV to movie adaptations of a cartoon I ever saw. At the time, I was almost 10. All I can say is that the H-B production studios must have shelled out big amounts of cash just for the privilege of having Margot Kidder, Telly Savalas, and Roddy McDowall voice characters in this stinker of a movie. The whole movie centers around a power mad Rocklord named Magmar, voiced by Telly Savalas, and his rouge bunch of misfit Rocklords conquering their home planet of Quardax one area at a time after which he would steal each sector ruler's power scepter. Wait it gets even more gruesome. After Magmar stole each sector ruler's power scepter he'd place them in a device called "the tumbler" which can send a rocklord ruler to his/her death within a matter of 10 seconds. The only Rocklord ruler that was a willing participant in Magmarâ€TMs schemes was the Fossil Lord. There are only 2 power scepters left and they're held by the only 2 remaining rocklord rulers still alive. Boulder, voiced by Michael Nouri, who gathered up the remaining sectors of Quardax to lead the rocklord freedom fighters, and Solitaire, voiced by Margot Kidder, who is the only remaining Jewellord left and others all of whom have remained hidden so that Magmar can't find them and wipe them out. The plot gets even more rediculous when Solitaire and Nuggit, voiced by Roddy McDowall, finally leave Quardax to find help. The unlikely pair finally find their way towards Gobotron where the Guardians find their ship coming into their air space. Here's the real kicker. The line that every good guy wants to hear a stranger in a strange world say: "we come in peace." Um okay so we know that Solitaire and Nuggit have come in the spirit of peace so I'm going to fast forward to what is probably the most rediculous point of this movie. Cy-Kill and the Renegades get wind of Magmar's plans to conquer Quardax and capture both Small Foot and Solitaire. I can understand why Cy-Kill, being one of the scummy bad guys with no intention of sharing the wealth with Magmar, wants to capture Solitaire and head towards Quardax, but taking Small Foot with him DUH! Why are Small Foot and the kids even unwilling participants with Cy-Kill and his plans? Then along the way Solitaire is spilling her guts about her people's weaknesses, strengths, and what Magmar's plans are for all of the Rocklord Ruler's power scepters. She even goes so far as to try and lie her way out telling Cy-Kill where Magmar is. Of course Cy-Kill laughs at Solitaire and tells her that she's not very convincing at lying to him. So the Leader-1, Turbo, and Scooter head with Nuggit towards Quardax and he introduces them to Boulder. At first Boulder seems skeptical that the Gobots can help them but they finally agree that if the freedom fighters are to survive Magmar's tyrany both sides have to agree to band together for a common cause. What a cliched way to go. Small Foot finally escapes, with the help of Nick and A.J., and proceed to steal a Renegade escape shuttle and then head to Quardax but not without causing complete and total chaos inside the Renegade ship before all three finally escape. This movie just keeps getting more and more rediculous as time progresses so I'm going to fast forward again. Finally the rocklord freedom fighters and their Guardian allies storm Stone Head and set Solitaire free but not without having Boulder make the mistake of raising his power scepter in the air in victory. This boneheaded move allows Magmar to steal his power scepter and put it in the wand's last slot but Magmar makes the mistake of letting Cy-Kill take the scepter first. Afterwhich Leader-1 and Cy-Kill go at it manno al manno until the wand starts to over take Cy-Kill and melt in his hand, well DUH what the fuck did he think was going to happen?, Leader-1 then flies up, with everyone looking on in horror. Leader-1 finally manages to shoot the ultimate power scepter out of Cy-Kill's hand but then it flies over top of Stone Head leaving only Magmar's battle axe behind. We hear Magmar's final line "we may not have the scepter but we still rule Stone Head." The final love fest occurs when Boulder and Solitaire thank Leader-1 and his crew for all of their help. (Insert sound of my gag reflex here.) The freedom fighters vow to rebuild Quardax as soon as Magmar is defeated perminently. Leader-1 tells them to call the Guardians if they need any help. Everyone says their goodbyes. Everyone is happy. Boy my gag reflexes are getting a work out here.
It was about time a "new" Godzilla movie came to the big screen in America. As a child I loved seeing the old ones from the 1960's on Sunday afternoon television in the 1970's, they were, and still are great. Japan in the 1980's was feared that they were pulling ahead of the USA in just about everything, this movie was probably going to be a capstone of sorts of their conquest of Hollywood in America. No way. Poorly dubbed English, a horrible plot, storyline, and acting. The movie even had Raymond Burr in it for that Hollywood Star appeal. His repetitive lines throughout the movie: "You can't stop Godzilla, no one can stop Godzilla!" It got old after the first time he said it. The only thing good about it was I felt that Japan would not be taking over the USA anytime soon, and I slept better at nights knowing this.
Going Overboard / 1989
This movie was terrible. The fact that writers got paid to make an atrocity like this gnaws at the soul of humanity like the screams of a 1000 dying children. [Ed's note: This movie featured a very young Adam Sandler and should not be confused with the Goldie Hawn movie "Overboard".]
Another overrated, overhyped trash heap from Stephen Spielberg. It started out okay, then it regressed into a too-cute kiddie film. Only for people who want proof that 2nd generation actors like Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, and Martha Plimpton can act as idiotic as their parents. And if that's not enough, Corey Feldman is in it, too.
It's a shame about this movie, and it was probably doomed from the start. It's a true story set in the Summer of 1816; poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, his lover Mary (Shelley), and their friend Claire have come to "hang out" with fellow poet Lord Byron and his personal physician John Polidori at Byron's Villa Diodati in Switzerland. After an evening of reading and tossing around poetic insults & theories, Lord Byron proposes a challenge to his friends: to write the ultimate ghost story...and predictably, chaos ensues when each finds him/herself coming face-to-face with their darkest fears. First of all, this film will only probably be of interest to those, like myself, who are avid fans of these particular poets...and those people will undoubtedly be pointing out the film's many flaws. This movie is so poorly executed that it'd be very easy to forget what & who it's actually about. The writers did a half-assed job researching the lives of the poets, the actors are embarrassingly miscast (which sucks, because I love Gabriel Byrne & Julian Sands; though Sands does make a cute, neurotic Shelley, Byrne is not at all suited for the role of Byron), and perhaps the greatest injustice is inflicted upon John Polidori, who in the movie is portrayed as an absolute nut ball. True, "Polly Dolly" (as Byron called him) had a few screws loose (he committed suicide at 26 years old) but was certainly not as unbelievably stupid, hyper, quirky, and irritating as the film would have its viewers believe. Natasha Richardson was actually a pretty good Mary, certainly the most convincing character in the film. Those who are just discovering the poetry & lives of Byron, Shelley, et al should read the best biographies available and leave watching the movie for later down the road when they, too, can easily point out all of the inconsistancies littered throughout it.
Grandview, USA / 1985
C. Thomas Howell (Who I love) hooks up with Jaimie Lee Curtis...Isn't that statuatory rape? Ughh, this movie lost all appeal for me when it reached the "Steely Man" dream sequence.
the movie was a rip off i felt the lack of goodness .this movie sucks!
The plot can be described by one word. Horrible! . It tries to give light to the audience like the original, but it failed.
I like Michelle Pfeiffer, but you can not top the first one. There will never be another Danny Zucko or Sandy. Maxwell Caulfield was one of the worst actors I have ever seen. When you have a movie that does as good as "Grease" did, You should never try to top it with a sequel. Rizzo and the Pink Ladies, Danny and the T-Birds and Kineckie are characters that can never be replaced or topped. Grease 2 was one of the worst movies ever, Paramount should have thrown it out when it came to them.
Horrible plot, music, and absolutely no redeemable qualities. This movie stinks.
Grease 2 and Staying Alive / 1982 and 1983
Lame music score and the worst songs from movie also Adrian Zmed as the lead T-bird and what was Christopher McDonald and Michelle Pheifer doing in this piece of garbage, which I admit is one of those guilty pleasures like Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze when it is on TNT or TBS and you can't help but to stop and watch it like a bad car accident. Also Staying Alive with John Travolta. Which the film speaks for itself with Stallone direcing it and it being a sequel to Saturday Night Fever. A disco sequel in the 80's after the "disco sucks" movement.
Grease II / 1982
This is the worst musical movie that I ever seen. I really like the musicals, but this is make me feel ashamed.
Okay, anyone who thinks a small furball that multiplies by water is good, should go and watch 'creature' or 'demons'. Gizmo looked like a wierd dog puppet that came out of a messed up sesame street, and the monsters who fell in the water where just plain stupid. All in all, I got bored half way through and the 'dont feed them after midnight' concept is just been done to many times. Cliched, and the acting is bad. In one scene, you can see the girlfriend's eyes moving back and forth as if she was reading her script. How sad it that?
Gung Ho!! / 1986
This was a movie starring Michael Keaton where his character is involved in the Japanese automobile industry. It was just a STUPID MOVIE!! I remember a friend of mine going to see it with me and we said it was so bad, it would be out on video in a week.
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