The Worst 80s Movies, Movies Beginning with S
I want the absolute worst movies from the 80s, and please tell me why you
thought they were the worst movies. Of course, some movies are so bad their
good. I don't agree with all the suggestions here. This page goes against what
I really believe in, but I think everyone needs to vent a little.
This page currently edited by: Indy Gent. Past editor: Banasy
Kids from a small town form a group and go off to find a producer (Liam Neeson) to get famous. The lead singer (Justine Bateman) falls for him and then finds he's at it with another woman (Deborah Harry). Love, betrayal and rock music. A great idea for a movie but its just done so poorly. A young Julia Roberts co-stars as another group member and not even she saves it. It's simply boring and a waste of 90 mins. Worth fast- forwarding to see a sexy middle aged Debbie Harry though.
Because of the profanity and violence.
School Spirit / 1984
This came out right after the cult success of that Scott Baio stinky "Zapped." It follows a similar pattern, oversexed high school nerd lands supernatural powers to use those for mucho T&A viewing. But this had the added benefit of filming pot smoking high school freaks in almost every scene. Oh yea, the plot (if there was one).......Main character "dies" and becomes a ghost. Haunts his school --- mainly the girl's locker room where bunches of overly developed fems shower at all hours of the day. There was some other stuff going on, including an LSD inspired sex scene where the main character has intercourse with the sweet, innocense for sale girl as the rest of the cast stares at their resulting pulsing white light with drug-induced awe. I saw this move ONCE when it came out. It's soooo bad, it stuck with me through the whole movie.
Scream for Help / 1984
A young teenage girl saves her mother from a horny con man and his "buddies". Unfortunately, that's not the end of the movie. Any film that contains a character named Lacey Bowles (a man) deserves to fail. Unrelenting violence and stupidity.
Shag: The Movie / 1989
A cross between "Dirty Dancing" with any '60's beach blanket flicks. A poor attempt to cash in with the nostalgic '60's craze in the late 1980's with TV shows like "The Wonder Years" and the mentioned movie "Dirty Dancing". Even Phoebe Cates from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" doesn't make this stinkfest worth viewing.
THERE'S NO NEED TO EXPLAIN... MADONNA TRYING TO ACT, AND SEAN PENN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM? MAYBE TRYING TO DESTROY HIS ACTOR CAREER.I LASTED 20 MINUTES INTO THE THEATER, THEN I JUST WALKED OUT, LEAVING THE THEATER COMPLETELY EMPTY. IF YOU HAVE ENEMIES JUST RECOMMEND IT TO THEM JAJA
Not enough room on this form to describe this awful film. I just caught up with it on TV recently. Painful to watch!!
Sheena: Queen of the Jungle / 1984
Tanya Roberts as Sheena lives in the African jungle raised by natives looking like she just stepped out of a Beverly Hills salon, waxed and all. But when Ted Wass (our hero) takes off his shirt she shrieks "Fur!! You have fur!! She speaks perfect English but doesn't understand "certain" words he says. It's so stupid you can't help watching. She puts her fingers to her head to speak to the animals from very far away and gives the appearance she is having a migraine. She thought this movie was going to make her a huge star after Charlie's Angels, instead it ruined any chance of her ever making movies again. The one thing I did like about this movie was looking at Ted Wass, he should have been naked more. I know the guys loved the full frontal nudity of Tanya. Too bad she blew her gig on That 70's Show.
Where do I start? It's the sequeal to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It didn't have Barry Bostwick or Susan Sarandon. It stars Clif DeYoung and Jessica Harper Do to a lack of budget the whole movie takes place in a TV studio. The only thing that saves this movie is the music and even the music isn't that good. I could go on but it's too painful to talk about.
Well where do we begin. A robot that through some over spoofed coincidence is given human attributes. It bleeps and it squeeks and it loves. I am hard pressed to conjure up a more pathetic example of 80's kiddy morality boxed and presented as film. But I digress, to finish in the words of the infernal artificial intelligence, "Johhny five is alive."
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 / 1987
Two words: GARBAGE DAY! Otherwise, a third of it is flashback scenes from the first movie, and the rest involves the laughable acting of Eric Freedman and his eyebrows dancing when he speaks.
Sleep Away Camp / 1984
This movie was a cross between "Jason Meets The Crying Game. This movie was too funny to be scary. This was definitely a 80's low budget horror movie.
Slent Scream / 1980
Typical *cheap* horror flick. A crazed maniac is killing off everyone living in a rental house. Living in the basement (of course!)and it is up to a girl to take care of the problem. I do remember the theatre being PACKED at the time I went with my boyfriend to see it. (though in retrospect I don't know why!)
Big hair nightmare. The girl singer gets up and sings "Hungry Heart" wearing leg warmers and pink triangle earrings. She's supposed to be the next big singing sensation. One of the top five worst movies l have ever seen.
The Slumber Party Massacre Part 2 / 1987
All the critics I've read (even those made by true horror fans) categorized the Slumber Party Massacre trilogy as the worst 80s slasher films ever. According to me, the first one is really good. It's even better than most of the Friday the 13th movies. It has blood, breasts, screams, and a bad story. What else do you want? It's a Halloween rip-off after all! Part 3 is not bad. The problem is definitely part 2. It's a cheesy, pathetic bad-acted horror sequel that brings the whole trilogy down. It's too bad it's called The Slumber Party Massacre. It gives a good one a bad name. However I laughed several times. Good with beer and friends! But please, 80s horror has already been better!! If you want pure fun, watch the first, skip part 2, just like we all do with Halloween 3.
Smokey & The Bandit III / 1983
I can't believe this movie even exist. Good thing Sally Field wasn't in this.
Snake Eater / 1989
This is without a doubt one of the worst films ever made. Lorenzo Lamas (or "The Handsome Stooge" as we call him...sorry Shemp)portrays a rogue undercover narc who is known by everyone (pushers, hookers, police chiefs, hell even his family calls him this) as "Soldier." Soldier once belonged to a super secret, ultra dangerous division of the Marines called the "Snake Eaters," which as the audience is told are so cool that you have to eat a snake just to join. I remember graduating high school in 1989 and being visited by a Marine recruiter at my house. I told him I'd only join if I could join the Snake Eaters and go around consuming elongated reptiles to prove my worth as a member of the greatest fighting force alive (apart from G.I. Joe, mind you). Oddly enough, I was never contacted by the U.S.M.C. again. Anyway, Soldier's family (mom, dad, young nubile sister) is on vacation somewhere in the backwoods of Petticoat Junction on a rented boathouse. Suddenly, they are attacked by the one group most of us truly fear on vacations: mutant hillbillies. I'm not kidding: mutant hillbillies lead by the super brain, "Junior." Soldier's mom and dad are killed and eaten outright, but Junior takes a shine to the young nubile girl on board and decides the family needs a new breeding machine back at their farm. Upon hearing the news, Soldier does what anyone of us would do immediately: he gets in a bar fight with a biker named "The Dentist." The Dentist has several teeth hanging around his neck on a chain and wields a pair of pliers that he uses to remove his victim's teeth. Soldier bests him in battle and in a show of Oscar Wilde wit removes the Dentist's molar. Impressed by Soldier's dental handywork, a mysterious female tells Soldier (who, by the way, is NEVER called Snake Eater throughout the flick)that she and her outlaw biker/gun running father can help him find his lost sister. Soldier, of course, accepts her help but not until he has taken her back to her father's boathouse and does her six ways to Sunday with his magic johnny-rod. I ask you: are you going to expect help to come from a cranked up biker outlaw whose daughter you just rogered in his own bed? Yes, bad form indeed! Soldier does receive help from the outlaw biker in the form of the biker converting one of his beautiful Harleys into a hybrid of a motorcycle and a Seadoo. He also arms Soldier with enough weaponry and ammo to push back the Tet Offensive by himself and sends his daughter along to her unforseen doom against the mutant hillbillies. Oddly enough, the old biker doesn't go himself but sends his only child to face death on her own. How noble! The short version is Soldier beats the hillbillies through superior firepower (i.e., the Heroes from Hooterville are sporting shotguns and rabbit rifles while Soldier has M-16's with grenade launchers, .50 autocannons, and a couple LAW rocket launchers for poops and giggles). His sister is safe and we all learn a lession about locking the entrances to borrowed houseboats while drifting aimlessly through mutant hillbilly infested areas. Ready for the kicker? Here it is: Soldier is taken off of suspension (did I forget to mention that he is a suspended rogue undercover narcotics officer which is why he has so much free time on his hands that he can wantonly execute Mr. Hainey, Arnold the Pig, and other members of the poorer classes in Appalachia)and is obviously made a detective who investigates arson cases. He's hot (excuse the pun) on the trail of an arsonist played by TV's Arnold Horshack from "Welcome Back Kotter." After capturing the arsonist and tying him up, he engages in witty banter with the no-goodnik and douses him in a flammable liquid. Then he make a pithy comment and SETS THE POOR BASTARD ON FIRE ON HIS WAY OUT! This is thankfully the end of the film. I actually looked this movie up in one of those movie guides that lists every film since "The Great Train Robbery," and I found out there are SEVEN Snake Eater films. Surprisingly enough, the first one got a "turkey" but each one got a better rating until number seven ended up with 2 1/2 stars. Proof positive that sequels can be better than the original!
Snow White / 1988
I recently saw this on WGN, thinking this was true to the original Bros. Grimm story like 'Snow White: A Tale of Terror', but discovered that this was another cheesy adaptation of the overrated version popularized by Disney. I didn't like the "sugar coated" version, the special effects, including the magic mirror, were lame, even for 1988. Not to mention the fact I find this story a bit offensive since Prince Charming kissed Snow White (to revive her) instead of the dwarves, whom helped her. Atleast the original story had coal miners instead of dwarfes & doesn't have dumb songs with woodland creatures acting all "cutesy". I'd rather watch "Snow White: A Tale of Terror", which is true to the story. Not this version, Disney's more popular "Snow White & The Seven Dwarves", nor that long banned Warner Bros. parody.
This is so ridiculous, but it's been played several times on TBS or USA or one of those networks. What's even more ridiculous is that I end up watching it every time it's on. This movie is about a barren Earth where water supply is short and controlled by some evil guy, played by Richard Jordan, who is always called on to be the evil guy when Michael Ironside isn't available. It also stars Jami Gertz, Jason Patric (the one good thing about this movie!) and that kid from "Witness" with the big ears. They all jet around on roller skates in an attempt to beat the bad guy being helped by some mystical orb that the big-eared kid finds. And then it turns out that Jami Gertz is really a princess or something and her parents live in this giant resort-like oasis, so the "solarbabies" have to choose between taking the easy way out living there or doing their part for mankind by defeating the bad guy and freeing the water supply. Charles Durning also shows up here....and I can't say I'm surprised.
Something Wild / 1987?
Actually, this movie was so NOT going anywhere that I walked out only a couple of weeks, I mean 20 minutes, making it the only movie I have ever walked out on.
Soul Man / 1986
Would have been funny in theory (white guy becomes black to get college scholarship), but it preaches about race, sigh. Thomas C. Howell should have done better.
Space Raiders / 1983
Absolutely HORRIBLE movie from Roger Corman, with all music, sets, and special effects recycled from "Battle Beyond the Stars" from three years earlier.
Think "The Breakfast Club" meets "Goonies" meets "Top Gun" and you have a pretty good idea of what this movie is like. It also came out not long after the Challenger tragedy.
You deserve a great prize if you survived this turkey, nothing but a gumball rally type of movie rip - off, i sat half an hour and then i just walked out of the theather to ask for my money back, and they did!! I was sure it was going to be a great comedy, but the result was backwards, i didn't laugh not even a single time the half and hour i wasted You better rent the original "The Gumball Rally" (1976), it's a good road race comedy, you won't regret. Thanks.
If you thought "American Pie" and "Porky's" were too trashy, then you might want to avoid this B-grade tripe about, well, spring break. Any movie that contains an actor pooping in the toilet while his friends are in the bathroom with him doesn't need to be seen by anyone. I did have a crush on actress Jayne Modean, a TV commercial actress. But she is a big bust (no pun intended) on the big screen.
I'm surprised no one has posted this 80s cinematic failure yet. I can give you many reasons why this film stunk, but it's not worth my time. I'll just say any film that featured Andrew McCarthy, Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe, and Demi Moore automatically stinks (other than Moore's "A Few Good Men" and that was a Jack Nicholson-Tom Cruise movie.) One of the few reasons I despised the Brat Pack Hackers.
Stayin' Alive / 1983
A sequel to Saturday Night Fever -- Tony Manero dancing on Broadway?? Gimme a break!!
Now don't get me wrong, "Saturday Night Fever" was a fairly good movie, but "Staying Alive"? Oh, please! Not only did Sylvester Stallone write it (oddly enough), it has a terrible plot and no good dancing. John Travolta looks like he works out a ton. It is different that the first one becuase John acts like a regular guy who just wants to boogie. But in "Staying Alive", it's like "Fame"!
The Stepfather / 1987
This movie was on Bravo's "100 Scariest Movies of All-Time" (yeah, right!). I saw this movie on cable. This was a very bad movie.
From beginning to end, a non-sensical and ridiculous movie with no plot. Understandably stupid due to the fact that it was filmed in Canada, and starred Canadians. This movie is a 2 hour insult to anyone with anyone with an I.Q. over 75.
It is just bad, the acting, the story, Paul Lemat appears like John Milner on an acid trip, from a American Graffiti. It just sucks!
I waited about two hours for the plot to kick in and then the movie ended.
Student Bodies / 1981
This movie is so bad, it makes "Showgirls" look like an Oscar contender. But that's what makes it worth watching. Want to see one of the worst movies of all time? This is it!
Student Bodies / 1981
Well, it was actually supposed to bad, but not as bad as it came out. It was a spoof of slasher movies that actually had some really funny moments...but it had such a low budget look to it. There was a killer on the loose and everytime he found a couple having sex, he would kill them somehow by wrapping them in a big Hefty bag. It's definitely bad, don't rent it or anything, but if it's on TV sometime you might as well watch it...you'll get some laughs out of it.
Student Confidential / 1988
This movie sucks because: (1) It immediately tries to cash in on the stars of the movie which include Playboy Playmate Susan Scott, Eric Douglas (son of Kirk), and Marlon Jackson (brother to Michael). (2) It is a Trauma Team release (you know, the guys who did Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke Em' High). (3) The plot (if that is what you want to call it) involves the overused theme of a few high school kids with problems. Ok...that's enough. It is too painful to talk about, just save yourself from this beast of VHS tape. Please let it fall into obscurity and never be found in any tape store ever again.
It was about a yogurt-type substance that people bought, and became addicted to. Then it killed them and became alive. It was, by far, the silliest movie ever made (next to 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes', which should also be on the list). A horrendous movie but tons of fun to watch and make fun of.
A ice cream company that sells some type of living goo as ice cream. Then this "ice cream turns the people who eat it into zombies. A low budget very bad horror movie.
It's a horror movie quite similar to "The Blob" about an evil yogurt who turns people into zombies. In the end of the movies the yogurt gets gigantic and tries to bury everyone. Do I have to tell more?
Summer Camp Nightmare / 1986
An absolute laugh. Based on the book "The Butterfly Revolution," this movie is about Camp North Pines, an all-boys camp, run by Mr. Warren (Chuck Connors), a weird religious guy with an obsessive butterfly collection and an even bigger obsession with religion. That explains why the only channel the television gets is a religious station. After the girls camp, South Pines, arrives and has their talent show for the boys, Mr. Warren bans all activities that involve the girls' camp. Three guys break into the girls' camp and hook up with three of the girls, but only one of the guys, Chris Wayne--a dork with a perm--gets caught, and locked in "The Pit." When he is let out, he is a changed camper. Soon, all the campers revolt, and lock the counselors in The Pit. When Mr. Warren is bought into the mixer dance by one of the campers--tied-up, no less--to see what is going on, he tries to break free from his captor. but on the way back to the Pit, he falls on a knife and dies. Boo-hoo, he gave me the creeps anyway. And THEN, this one camper, Franklin Reilly (who looks like a poor excuse for a Corey Feldman circa-1988 rip-off) takes over, and the power goes to his head. A camper dies when girls attack him for raping another girl. The pathetic part is that the girls carry him off, mosh-pit style. Every guy, even the nerdy pre-pubescent boy, gets a girl. The dialogue and music is typical 1980s horror film dialogue, and lots of almost-sex. I only rented this because it sounded funny. I didn't expect to be scared of it. With some of the titles that Embassy Home Entertainment has put out (including a stinker listed here--"Deadly Blessing"), it easy to see why the company no longer exists. However, you gotta see this one to believe how bad it is.
I used to love this movie when I was about 5 years old. I saw it about a month ago and it was one of the worst things i've ever sat through. Faye Dunnaway tried too hard to be camp and over the top. She just looked stupid. Helen Slater was about as wooden as a door frame and that black wig she wore to disguise herself was pathetic. The storyline was dumb and the whole thing stank. I especially hated the 'special effects' and Faye Dunnaway's chants 'power of box' or whatever were laughable. I couldn't stand her wisecracking and unfunny female sidekick either. Truely awful.
This movie could be alot better if it was a light campy superhero flick and shorter running time (90-100 mins.) instead of trying to be a serious superhero flick and trying to be as long as an "epic" superhero movie. Although Helen Slater looked hot in her superhero get up and as a brunette school girl, she didn't do justice with heroic acting! Faye Dunaway has the worst acting for a comic book villian I have ever seen. She made Arnold Scwartznegger's Mr. Freeze from "Batman and Robin" look like Jack Nicholson's Joker from the orginal "Batman"! You know your movies in trouble when the opening credits are the best part of the movie! Super-boring is more like it!
Superman 3 / 1985
Superman teams up with Richard Pryor. Need I say more?
Superman kills, which is the biggest no-no of all time for him. And now has new superpowers, such as the ability to throw a giant S from his chest that disappears. Did the writers even check the source material before making this?
Superman IV : The Quest for Peace / 1986
Cheap, cheap, cheap. Ridiculous special effects. Not to mention: plot, acting, lighting, you name it. Possibly the all time worst big budget comic book movie. But very funny for parties.
Superman IV: A Quest for Peace / 1987
This is the "worst" Superman movie ever made. The late Christopher Reeve had to be ashamed of this one because even though he actually was second unit director in this movie. He also wanted to make changes to make Superman from a hero we all wished we'd be into an egotisical messiah who can stop nucular weapons in a matter of seconds. Then there's the scene where Mariel Hemmingway was saved by Superman in space.... with just her business suit. If you want to watch the real Superman in action watch the first two Superman movies or wait until the summer 2006 release. Just stay from this superstinker!
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace / 1987
One of those very rare films where I actually left before the end, and demanded (and got) a refund. Me who LOOOVED Superman I and II! They even had the nerve to try and rehash the Superman-and-Lois flying sequence. A disaster all the way.
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