The Worst 80s Movies, Movies Beginning with H
I want the absolute worst movies from the 80s, and please tell me why you
thought they were the worst movies. Of course, some movies are so bad their
good. I don't agree with all the suggestions here. This page goes against what
I really believe in, but I think everyone needs to vent a little.
This page currently edited by: Indy Gent. Past editor: Banasy
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch / 1982
The first two Halloween movies we great but then they throw this sequel in and it completely takes away from the other two films. Instead of the traditonal Michael Myers stalking Jaime Lee Curtis, this movie is about some kids with these Halloween masks that they can`t take off. This movie just all out sucked.
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch / 198?
After the first two Halloween movies which were pretty darn good, the producer of the series decided to cash in on the name. What resulted from this was a movie about this Halloween mask producing company that is owned by some druid guy. This company makes masks that, when worn while watching a certain TV commercial, turns the heads of the kids that are wearing the masks into bugs, slime, or just nothing. No Micheal, no plot, no good actors, no watching.
Hamburger...The Motion Picture / 1986
A stupid movie with a ridiculous plot. The only thing that kept it going were the fraternity pranks.
Hardbodies/Hardbodies 2 / 1984, 1986
Hardbodies: One of those really bad beach movies that people liked to watch over and over again on cable. Bad acting, bad lines, bad everything. The only "redeemeing" quality is the sex scenes, four which happen at the same time. Hardbodies 2: The sequel just wasn't funny, and had nothing to do with Part 1 other than the old character Ash. Apparently, it was about making a movie about the main character in Part 1. And to make it worse, there were fewer "Hardbodies" (slang for "hot women") it this stinker.
The Haunting of McClintock Mansion / 1989
Oh man, this movie is set up where these, I think, 5 or maybe 6 kids unconciously hide out in some haunted house. So you've always gotta have the troublemakers right? Well before they make it to the house, these two "Bad Boys" of the film, go into a conviences store while the other 3 or 4 are pumping gas. They "accidently" shoot the clerk after trying to steal some money, some cops of course pull up while they're trying to make a getaway and thus they are on the lam!! They pull up the driveway of some spooky house in the middle of nowhere (obviously so no one can hear them scream HAHA) and basically get picked off one by one by an evil spirit. The two teens (a guy and girl who've been hot for each other the entire movie) of course make it and destroy the evil that lurked in the house. *SNORE*. I said it once and I'll say it again... if you saw any of those other "rip offs of the Exorcist-possession of evil spirits-the devil is in haunting my home" flicks, then there's no need to see this one. The only reason I did is because my friend (whom, without need of an explanation) cannot choose movies to rent, and forced me to watch it with her. I've never forgiven her for that night.
He-Man / 1987
If you want to see He-Man in all of his glory, your best bet is to try and find the cartoons on video. Whatever you do DON'T rent this movie because it's not the same as the cartoons. It's, hands down, one of the WORST movies that I ever saw in my entire 23 years of life. If I'm inclined to say so: it's the single biggest waste of film since my 2nd grade pictures
Heartbreak Ridge / 1986
Highly unlikely that two Army Korean War vets would be in the Marine Corps thirty years later, especially considering that promotions are so much slower in the Marines. Clint Eastwood as an E-7 gunnery sergeant? Too old. A Marine recon unit carrying on with so little discipline and respect for superiors? Is this movie had been meant to be a farce or comedy, it might have been quasi-watchable. I rank it down there with Boys of Company C and Siege of Fire Base Gloria. (At least Gloria had some fun lines in its script.)
The movie was absolutely fantastic! *awkward pause* But only if watched at 5 in the morning under the influence of 2 pitchers of Kool-Aid and 4 times the necessary amount of sugar.
The genere is supposed to be comedy but its like drama or something. There's no point in the movie and it sucks. Almost all the main characters die and the only main character left at the end is Winona Ryder.
It was a rip-off of Flashdance. An aerobic club is going to shut down unless they win a square off at exercising. Horrible Aerobic Musical.
Hell Comes To Frogtown! / 198?
Okay this is a bad sci-fi movie trying to cash in on the "celebrity" of pro wrassler Rowdy Roddy Piper. I can't remember much of it, must be a mental block or something. What I DO remember is some of the worst acting I've seen, yes even worse than ON the wrassling shows! This movie is a regular on USA's Up All Night
Why did it stink, you ask? One word, LINDA BLAIR. Let's just face it,the poor girl never did have talent as an actor. Even playing the demon in the "Exorcist" she still couldn't act!
Hercules / 1983
I don't really remember much about this movie-- to date, it's the only movie I've ever slept through. I went to see it during a summer matinee (remember when your folks would drop you off at the mall all day??). I saw it a few weeks back on a MST3K rerun, and laughed my a$$ off!!
Hobgoblins / 1987
I saw this movie on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and quickly knew why it was there. Even though all the movies on that show are pitiful, "Hobgoblins" takes the cake. It is poorly acted and thought out, and its premise really is unnecessary. The old-man janitor blows up the things at the end, a perfect ending to the perfect movie. Looking at it rationally, it is something he could have just done 30 years ago, or here's a thought: maybe just at the beginning of the movie!
Hollywood Hot Tubs / !984
My dad, a retired Army Sargeant, pushed me to see this with him at the post theater, then he pushed me to leave this film before it ended. (And I don't leave any movie, no matter how rancid.) That's how awful this horrible Z-grade "comedy" was. Hardly any sex or nudity, and even fewer laughs. Should have gotten a clue from the credits: Edy Williams, Jewel Sheppard, and Chuck Vincent, a soft-core porno director who's films included "C.O.D.", "Games Women Play" and "Hot T-Shirts".
Homework / 1982
Joan Collins as a Mom seducing her sons friends. Stupid and boring!!!
Horror Planet / 1981
If a bunch of British or American actresses being raped and multilated by aliens is your cup of pee, then this is the movie for you. I'd never thought that a British Sci-Fi pic with Stephanie Beacham, Victoria Tennant, Jennifer Ashley, and Judy Geeson would be this horrible; but it is. Beacham's death scene is especially degrading and tasteless. There are men in this film, too, but they barely register on the screen. Avoid "Horror Planet" and any film called "Inseminoid". They are one in the same movie.
House of Death / 1981
The acting, by a bunch of unknowns, was horrible! The pace was deadly slow and the whole thing was dull, with little gore! It had to do with teenagers getting killed at an old house! Well nothing happens until the last few minutes of the film! Stay away from this one! One of the worst slashers of the 80s! Oh my gosh!
You have to see this one to believe how bad it was. Steven Speilberg should be ashamed to have this on his resume. [Ed.'s note: Spielberg had nothing to do with this. George Lucas (Star Wars) was executive producer.]
Do I really have to tell you why this movies sucks. Although, almost every man I meet seems to love it, but every girl who`s seen it said, It was like George Lucas, while celebrating his Star Wars success took a bad acid trip and wrote this movie.
Lea Thompson wants to have sex with a Duck. Need I say more?
Humongous / 1982
As in a "humongous" pile of...(well you get the picture). This probably would have been a scarier movie---if anyone could have seen an actual movie under the haze and darkness of the screen. The plot concerns a creature on an island which resulted from a woman being raped at a cocktail party. The bad dialogue and awful FX would turn anyone into a maniac monster.
Okay, I admit that the movie had a erotic scene in it. But this movie was not only bad, but very boring. David Bowie looked like a albino freak instead of a vampire. Is it just me or did the 80's made some bad horror movies?
The Hungry Mist / 1982
Embarrassing 'thriller' about a mysterious fog that is putting residents of a seaside town into deep sleeps. It will have the same effect on unsuspecting viewers. With Donald Pleasence, Louise Flecther and Trish Van DeVere. Not available on video but can be seen on late night TV.
hunk / 1986
cheezy, typical story of geek to sheek film that you can't even find on USA Up All Night- even if that was still on the air?!
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